I've wanted to kill myself for so long. I've been waiting because there are things that I didn't want to leave unfinished. Now I realize that it doesn't really matter. If I'm going to kill myself then really, what is the point of trying to make anything right? It's hopeless anyway. I could tell the person I love that I love them. I've always wanted to but I don't think it's a good idea. If they don't love me back and I run off to kill myself then they'll think it's their fault. However, I think there's a slim chance they feel the same way and that would be even worse. I can't actually be with them because I'll infect them with a terrible disease. I think I love them too much to tell them because I really want them to be happy. They deserve better. I've let everyone down. I'll never be good enough. I can't stand that my family is so dissapointed in me. I never wanted to hurt them. I know if I kill myself that it will hurt them a lot but I can't stand the pain anymore. I'm not a very good person and I can't change no matter how hard I try. I just hope I don't fail at killing myself too. Knowing my luck someone will probably find me barely alive and I'll wake up in the hospital. I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of living. I think tomorrow might be my last day.