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My Last Goodbye

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by wanting, Aug 17, 2007.

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  1. wanting

    wanting New Member

    The last ime i tried to commit suicide was about 8 months ago.I had taken many sleepers and a lot of co-codamol and a lot of alcohol,more than enough i thought.However i was online still after i had taken them and at the last possible moment a freind appeard on msn "bling" went the message,he was trying to chat to me.Why i dont know but i told him it was the last time he would speak to me so it better be good.Well he said why and i said ,because i'll be dead soon.Well that was it half an hour later i had 3 freinds from work at my house and carying me to hospital.I could feel myself slipping away on the way there and when we reached hospital i whent out.I awoke the next day with tubes in my arms and was violently sick and had to be sedated.I was ashamed and had mixed feelings about surviving and now i still do.I have good freinds who will do anything for me within there power,but i push them away all the time and i dont know why.I guess i need them now again because i still want to die,but i dont quite know why,it really powerfull this feeling and i am unsure what to do.My doctor doesnt seem to belive me and just thinks i want to abuse sleepers so i am confused please help.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Ask your doctor for a referral you are obviously profoundly depressed.

    Thank God for good friends. Try and let them in, I know that can be tough when all you want to do is hide from the world and not wake up; but honestly they want to help and they really can ease the bad times.
  3. markc

    markc Active Member

    Wanting, it's not uncommon for people in our "situation" to try to distance themselves from their friends and associates before an attempt. Think of it as an unconscious form of emotional insulation.

    Terry, is absolutely right. If your doctor won't believe you and/or won't help, you should definitely ask for a referral to a counselor. If the first counselor you get doesn't work out (and this happens frequently), DON'T GIVE UP! Try to find a different counselor. (It took me 3 attempts before I found someone that I could work with, that I trusted, and that helped me. It can work for you too.)

    Let your friends back in. Talk to them about your depression; they sound like caring people that want to help you. Remember that we're all here for you as well, and we'll ALWAYS listen.


    - Mark
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