Each and every day, I wake up full of dread. Today is just the same, I don't want to leave my bed. What is it today? Will it be euphoria? Maybe I'm suicidal, Maybe it's just paranoia? I walk the busy streets, I have never felt so alone. I try to change direction, But my path in life is sewn. The school kids pass me by, They grin and laugh and joke. But if I even dare to smile, I know that I will choke. I walk beside the river, Is this how I'll end it all? The thoughts are so intense, About my final curtain call. The skies begin to grey, I hear rumbles from afar. The raindrops start to fall, The thoughts become bizarre. The cold rain hits my face, It warms my icey heart. The tears begin to stream, Inside I'm tearing apart. For a split second, I can show the world me. For that one moment, I'm allowed to be free. I open up the front door, I'm drenched from head to toe. You greet me as I walk inside, I don't let my feelings show. I pull you close and hold you tight, You stroke my hair and face. It breaks my heart to know that this Will be our last embrace. I wish I could be perfect, And enjoy my life. But I feel like I'm imprisoned, In suffering and strife. I watch you sleep peacefully, And kiss your sweet, soft cheek. Unbeknownst to you, It is death that I seek. I whisper in your ear, My sorries and goodbye. For tonight this will be, My last lullaby.