Ive posted here before and I just figured Id say one last goodbye to the only people who have ever tried to help me in my life, but in the end i Know nobody cares about me.
Today has been the worst day of my life which, for me, has to be one god awful day. So after careful consideration I have finally decided that I am going to kill myself. I am pretty sure I have depresion and its obvious to everybody and sometimes they ask, but my parents dont want to deal with the embarrasmeant of having a "crazy son" so they dont take me so when I lie and say "no" they think I am an a******. I have no freinds at all. There is one thing in my life I truly like and my parents take it away like its nothing. So therefore I literally do nothing. I suck at school so I dont have good grades at all. I have dislexia and ocd so I think that explains that.
All me and my parents do is argue about everything and its not about serious issues like I was caught drinking so we are arguing about that. Its stupid stuff about why I said I wanted to wear my sweater, after they said no. And I get yelled at for an hour before school about that (yea, with all this physcological stress I do bad in school) and when i tell them about It they get mad and say, like everything else, it is my own fault. I really am mad im killing myself and not have the joyof watching them die. That may sound horrible but I have long intricate thouhts of killing them. And dreams where I kill them are usually the only good dreams I have
And speaking of dream, I cant rememmber the time I didnt have a dream where someone didnt die. All that isnt even half of my problems. I would say that is only about 1/10th of my problems. So after careful consideration, I have decided I am going to kill myself tonight, So I am going to check back here later on and I hope something will be here that will make me change my mind.
Today has been the worst day of my life which, for me, has to be one god awful day. So after careful consideration I have finally decided that I am going to kill myself. I am pretty sure I have depresion and its obvious to everybody and sometimes they ask, but my parents dont want to deal with the embarrasmeant of having a "crazy son" so they dont take me so when I lie and say "no" they think I am an a******. I have no freinds at all. There is one thing in my life I truly like and my parents take it away like its nothing. So therefore I literally do nothing. I suck at school so I dont have good grades at all. I have dislexia and ocd so I think that explains that.
All me and my parents do is argue about everything and its not about serious issues like I was caught drinking so we are arguing about that. Its stupid stuff about why I said I wanted to wear my sweater, after they said no. And I get yelled at for an hour before school about that (yea, with all this physcological stress I do bad in school) and when i tell them about It they get mad and say, like everything else, it is my own fault. I really am mad im killing myself and not have the joyof watching them die. That may sound horrible but I have long intricate thouhts of killing them. And dreams where I kill them are usually the only good dreams I have
And speaking of dream, I cant rememmber the time I didnt have a dream where someone didnt die. All that isnt even half of my problems. I would say that is only about 1/10th of my problems. So after careful consideration, I have decided I am going to kill myself tonight, So I am going to check back here later on and I hope something will be here that will make me change my mind.