My life is fucking retarded. I'm an attractive guy that has never been laid. I've been in private school all my life. I hate school. I get bad grades but I had a college level reading level in middle school. I'm average to above average intelligence. I'm not ridiculously smart but the grades I get I don't deserve. In the things that i'm interested in, i'm able to get A's and B's. Now everyone is gonna tell me, "sometimes you gotta do the things you don't wanna do". Let's see idiots, i've been doing those things my whole life and it's never gotten better. Every single dream I have has been or will be crushed as soon as I get close to achiveing it. I wanted to do the ROTC, looks like I can't do that cause I won't get into any of the schools that offer it. Yay. Wanted to become an officer in the Army, oh wait, you've gotta have a 3.0 GPA now. What the fuck? I will never achieve that, but they won't even give me a CHANCE. Isn't the military about experience not pre-requisitional bullshit? I also wanted to be a lawyer, no point though cause if I can't get into the top schools i'll never get a job, in addition to the loans, in addition to my own difficulty obtaining a single bachelors degree. I just want to die. I just want to go to sleep tonight and not wake up. Since I don't do well in school, I'll never have a good life. That sounds so stupid but now in our present society it is true. I seriously just want to die. My life is so horrible. I have no friends left, they all have better lives than me. In fact, everyone I know has a better life than I do. There are no solutions to my problems. Eventually i'm just going to wake up one day and enlist in the military so that hopefully I can get blown up. I went recently with optimism and was met yet again (what a surprise!) with pessimism as they told me basically I could never become an officer and that I should enlist. So one day i'm just gonna wake up and say, "Fuck it, they want me to die, i'm ready to go."
hmm..not sure how to reply but will try and understand what you are getting at. you seem really angry about a lot of things and just maybe this is affecting how you come across to others. being attractive does not guarantee you getting laid, for example if you give off the vibe that as you are so attractive any girl should be grateful, it just isnt gonna happen unless she just wants a one night stand anyway. jobs: hmmm you dont seem to be focussed on any particular thing..whilst its good to have alternatives you need to focus. why cant you get into the schools that offer ROTC? and as for the lawyer things, you are creating your own problems, why do you have to get into top schools to be a lawyer, law is law...i get the impression you pick something, fall at first hurdle and give up. and yes, you are right, everyone in life will have to do something they dont like...and if that makes me an idiot i can live (or die) with it. if you think you can go through life doing only the things you like, where is the challenge? in the army, being a lawyer, you will have to do something you dont like. i am sorry you feel so bad right now, but dont give up before you have given it your all, everyone has dreams and it takes work to make them happen. please take care and keep posting...i hope i dont sound unsympathetic, i am, i am just replying on the basis of your post, and in no way do i want you to give up your dreams. maybe you could be more specific as to why you cant actually achieve any of them. :hug:
I can sorta relate to what your saying.. I'm very intellectually smart and have been all my life. But in school I was so bored with the material I wouldn't always get good grade. Especially my first years of High School. And I think the world is just really fucked up atm. Unfortunately. They look at grades and awards, over someone who is willing to work. Though I don't think you should just end your life. There is so much you could offer to this world. I have decided myself that I really don't give a shit for now about college and I'm going to just figure out what things I like and enjoy and then start from the bottom and work my way up. And if I need some college courses for it, I'll get there. But we don't all have to have some important job. And I think we all just do well and contribute to society in whatever we do. Even simply doing something kind for someone else is contributing to the world in one way. Or smiling at people. Maybe just try and find a low level job for now. Make some friends there. Maybe get lucky and meet someone whom you will love and they will love you. And its not always about being attractive. I think you also have to show people you are interested in them and they will show interest in you. Just saying hi to someone you see daily for example may become more then that. Don't give up. You aren't worthless. Take care.
thanks for the responses. I think part of my problem is that i'm impatient about my life. It's only fair though because my friends get to have fun much more quickly than I do. It's just really difficult to be in my situation currently. And the same goes for me wanting to die, in my mind i'm thinking, "look forward to the future" but that is what i've been doing my entire life so i'm kind of sick of it and I want to see some kind of change soon.
