My life is fucking retarded. I'm an attractive guy that has never been laid. I've been in private school all my life. I hate school. I get bad grades but I had a college level reading level in middle school. I'm average to above average intelligence. I'm not ridiculously smart but the grades I get I don't deserve. In the things that i'm interested in, i'm able to get A's and B's. Now everyone is gonna tell me, "sometimes you gotta do the things you don't wanna do". Let's see idiots, i've been doing those things my whole life and it's never gotten better. Every single dream I have has been or will be crushed as soon as I get close to achiveing it. I wanted to do the ROTC, looks like I can't do that cause I won't get into any of the schools that offer it. Yay. Wanted to become an officer in the Army, oh wait, you've gotta have a 3.0 GPA now. What the fuck? I will never achieve that, but they won't even give me a CHANCE. Isn't the military about experience not pre-requisitional bullshit? I also wanted to be a lawyer, no point though cause if I can't get into the top schools i'll never get a job, in addition to the loans, in addition to my own difficulty obtaining a single bachelors degree. I just want to die. I just want to go to sleep tonight and not wake up. Since I don't do well in school, I'll never have a good life. That sounds so stupid but now in our present society it is true. I seriously just want to die. My life is so horrible. I have no friends left, they all have better lives than me. In fact, everyone I know has a better life than I do. There are no solutions to my problems. Eventually i'm just going to wake up one day and enlist in the military so that hopefully I can get blown up. I went recently with optimism and was met yet again (what a surprise!) with pessimism as they told me basically I could never become an officer and that I should enlist. So one day i'm just gonna wake up and say, "Fuck it, they want me to die, i'm ready to go."