My life can't go on much longer...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Confused_Tomboy, Apr 21, 2011.

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  1. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    My life is officially a living hell....There's nothing left in my life that's positive...I just need to go where I belong, and that's Hell...I mean my life is living hell, so I'll fit in just fine in the underground hell.....
     
  2. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Please tell us why?
     
  3. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    I dnt know wat else to say....and there's no point....no one cares about me at all, and im completely invisiable to everyone....
     
  4. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Well i can see you and my ears are open.
     
  5. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    I'm just not allowed to live any more...I'm getting signals, and I've been getting them for years now but I've misinterprited them, but I got the meaning of these signals 100% clean now....I'm just waiting for the signal of what to do and when to do it.....
     
  6. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    So, have you tried to find out why you are getting these signals?
    Have you spoken to family or professionals?
     
  7. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    no no no....i've been diconnected from all of my family members for at least 5 years now..we still interact with each other, but I gave up trying to communicate with any of them about my issues at least 5 years ago as well.....And I've delt with professionals since 2007 at least; when I started going in and out of hospitals and group homes...and I'm still "working" with them... I'm just basically putting on an act toeveryone so they'll get off my back bout everything, at least lay off a bit....But once i get this final signal, im acting on it....
     
  8. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    But why all this?
    What has happened?
    What is the diagnosis?
    I can see you are 17, so only 12 or before when it started?
     
  9. Hi and welcome to the forum..

    You should tell your doctors the truth so that they can help you better.. Can you ignore the signals.. and what signals are those you are having..? able to get the doctors to give you some meds to stop you from having any negative signals..?

    Keep talking to us and stay safe.. Ignore those signals.. :hug:
     
  10. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    Yea...i was 13 when i started going into my regular crisis mode....but i was 10 when i started my suicidal comments....my diagnosis are mood disorder and ODD...but i swear there's something wrong with my brain that the docs are missing, or ignoring.....i dnt want get into that topic.....but i just need that last signal to come....and i need it to come soon
     
  11. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    i dnt know....im not going to try to talk to any more doctors or people like that because they just piss me off more, and they never understand me, no matter how hard i try.... and there's no point in talking with anyone any way....im worthless, my life is pointless.....nothing more to say...
     
  12. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    My head is pounding so frigin hard right now...i have a really bad headache...but i can feel that a signal is being prepared..and boy am i ready for it...i just need to go to where i belong...in underground hell!!!
     
  13. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    hi confused...you sound like an echo of many of us. we have all had docs, therapists, pscyhs that didnt just get us..its not unusual but so damn frustrating and it does make you want to give up. if you are not honest and forthright with your doc or therapist they cant help you (i get told this daily by friends) and i too now recognise this. so be forceful without being agressive and let them know that you feel no one is listening to you and hearing what you say...its hard but even i accept i cant give up until i have exhausted everything...i have told my current therapist that is my last chance...but what i am saying is..you still have a way to go before you can truly say that no one gets you. please please persevere and IF the day comes at least you can let your friends and family know that you tried everything and nothing they could offer would have changed things. you owe them that, otherwise they will live with the pain you feel now and i dont believe you would want that. hold on, no matter how hard...and let peeps here suppport you:cheekkiss
     
  14. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    I think about the pain i caused them, and the pain i cause them 24/7...It's tearing me apart, and i can't deal with it any more....i just need that signal....
     
  15. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    ignore it...reach out here...phone local crisis line till it passes..or just keep phoning...i have done that so i know it works...you may not be happy but at least you feel ok enough to go a little further. its a battle..and war is never easy...just keep fighting...and reach out here for support
     
  16. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    y keep fighting when it's pointless? i just need to die...i can't live..and if i call the crisis, or anyone for that matter, they'll all just say, here she goes again, send her to the hospital....and im not going through that again...the next time i try to commit suicide, i won't be trying, ill be succeeding!
     
  17. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Simone, welcome to the forums. why are you so adamant to kill yourself? you sound intelligent and nice, you have a lot to live for.please seek some help now before its too late, hugs!
     
  18. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    I just need to kill myself....it's complicated..and it doesn't matter y i want to..because i dnt want to, i NEED to!
     
  19. carter001

    carter001 Active Member

    Speaking as someone who tried to kill himself 3 times I can say "life is worth holding on to".I hear how much pain you are in and my life isn't much better,I barely get out of bed most days.

    If you close yourself off from help(ie)doctors and such then you'll get worse.If I stopped taking my medication for a few weeks I'd be dead by now.So I recognize the importance of taking my meds to live any sort of life.

    And you might not be able to speak to your family but you could write a letter and explain to them how you are really feeling.I find writing things down helps me express my feelings so much better.

    Take care of yourself and just hold on that little bit more.
    Everyone here cares about you.:console:
     
  20. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    I just need to die...and i dnt think there's anything else to say...im gonna die and that's that!
     
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