I have no motivation to live. Everything in my life is going to pot, and I literally have no one. I have no friends, no pets, and my family despise/ shun me for my depression and my attempts at suicide 8 years ago. Last, week my computer died. The week before, my external hard-drive died. Three years of work gone. I'm a teacher and I never use a textbook. All my work on those, the thousands of hours of creating lessons and materials is gone. I work at the worst school in one of the worst countries in the world. They can't get the information off the hard-drives here because they're a model that was never sold here. My principal won't let me fly home to Australia to get it fixed there. Even if I was allowed to go, it would be incredibly expensive. My immediate superiors picked a fight with me at the beginning of the year, accusing me of things I'd never done. They've piled on the work - I have more classes and more duties than any other secondary teacher - and demand that I complete everything by myself, perfectly. Without my computer, I can't do any of this. The worst part is, I was trying to escape this place. I've spent two years in therapy, Skyping to Australia. After 6 and half bloody years in this hell-hole I told the school that I wouldn't renew my contract, so I'm effectively jobless as of June - if they don't fire me first. But now I have no time to look for another job, plus I can't do it anyway, since I have no fucking computer at home. There are some people who aren't cut out for life. There is just no way out of this spiral. My best bet is to cut and run at the end of the month. I'll go some place nice, check into a hotel and end it there. I refuse to die here.