I'm in college and this will by my fifth and last year. I was planning on going on to grad. school, but reality hit me in the face, so not only will I not be going for a further education, but I'm dropping out completely. Up until now, I've been a good student with a 3.0 G.P.A. and I was understanding the material with ease. However, I have to take three classes of statistics and a quantitative reasoning class. Math and computer programming are my worst subjects and my major and my primary focu in partciular don't have much to do with math or computer programming. I had my first statistics class the other day and I'm already behind based on the placement test and I don't understand the material. It's not like I can get extra help because I'll never be competent enough to do that work on exams and this is the easiest of the three statistics classes I have to take. The same goes for quantitative reasoning. I avoided these classes all these years, but now I know it was never realistic for me to undergo this path. I've always been depressed, but now it's gotten to the point where I can't see myself going on. My parents will probably be devestated when I break the news, which makes this situation that much worse. I do plan on ending my life. I work part time and after I receive a few more paychecks and obtain a gun permit, I'm going to buy a gun and shoot myself in the mouth or side of the head. I could barely get through the day. If I have to go on, I don't know what I'm going to do. Suicide seems like the best option because my life is just getting worse. I care nothing for making friends or having a romantic relationship. I've read people saying the same thing, but they feel depressed when they see others socializing and having relationships. I was like them at one point, but now, I've travelled beyond that and feel nothing when I see other people having social lives. I'm tired a lot. I don't have hope for the future. I stopped caring about most things. I'm not assertive and I drift through life. All of this has doubled since dropping out of school.