my life , how can i go on

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by White Dove, Nov 24, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    my life , how can i continue to go on.. i just dont understand why things always go wrong with me..? Why do things always happen to me..? cancer has not spread any futher nor got any better. its the same.. same pain, same sickness, same cant sleep at night.

    I am all alone now. except for brother next door. he slipped a disk in his back at work, doc told him he couldnt work for a while or he would be paralized.. his job fired him and hes trying to fight it with no luck,etc.

    thought things were going to pick up and go good for me for a change but no luck at that. bought a bigger trailor, been making payments on it, took everything i had in storage out of storage and put into the mobile home and last friday night someone went to the home set it on fire and i lost everything. all my trophies i had won at fairs gone burnt up, all my funiture, gone burnt up. all my law school books, my diploma , gone burnt up. it totaled the trailer it was a complete loss. it was arson. yet the stupid police department have done nothing to catch the guy who did it.

    i know who did it. the guy kept asking me to let him burn the trailer cause it was very old well the trailer might have been old but it was my home. i told the police this and they are doing nothing about it. the neighbor who did this called 911 after it burnt a lot of my home up and said he seen a 4 wheeler in the area , injected himself in there as the only witness , yet he had 2 tires with rims on his property and when i went to check the mobile to see if anything could be salvaged i seen those tires and rims under my home. he put them there set the home on fire so the fire would reach the tires, make the trailer burn hot and completly destroy it.. he even told the fire department there was nothing of value in it and to let it burn.. then the fire department tells the police nothing of value was in the home.. maybe thats why the police are not going to get him.

    its not fair.. my life is not fair.. everytime i try to get ahead i cant because someone or something pushes me back down. i am so sick of it.. i have heard several times from several people who will say no one goes through hardships all the time. well i say you want to bet?

    i cant.. i just cant do this anymore... i am going to do something in a few days that i probably should not be doing but im sick of life.. my life has been heartache after heartache , pain after pain and i am giving up.. cant do this anymore and not going to try. no ones been through all i have been through, no one goes through as much as i go through. it never ends unless i end it.
  2. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    Hello my dearest. I know that I have been gone for quite a long time (and I have a thread on why, if you want to see) but the important thing is I am here now.

    That's completely awful. I cannot imagine anyone buring your things, your possessions... that's horrible. It's not something I would wish on anyone. And I really can not belive that the police are not doing anything about it- that's unacceptable!

    About the lack of police effort, maybe there is someone or an agency you can write to (on the state level maybe?) and complain. I really don't know if such a thing exists... but it's worth a try, right?

    I hope your brother gets better and I most certainly hope they arrest the arson responsible. And I hope you get some sleep, some rest, some respite from your troubles. You deserve rest.

    Like always, I'm just a PM away. Take care, dear.
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    thank you for thoase kind words :hug:

    if it had been anybody elses home they would have but when it comes to me , they just dont care. i even called in to nashville to the state arsinest hotline but they said the police had to call them in. thing is i know who burnt it and i even told the police this but they act like it does not matter.

    see the land the trailor sits on is my nepherws. this trailer was my nephews and seeing as how i live in this little home / camper he let me buy this 14x70 2 bedroom home from him for 2700 on payments which i did and just got it paid off.. did not have any insurance on it cause i cant afford insurance, well the land it sits on is boarded 3 sides by this neighbor and he has asked me several times why dont you let me burn that trailer and clean this mess up for you cause its not worth anything.. well i kept telling him ( by the way he has a new mobile ) this was my home and it had my stuff in it.. well he got mad.. he also had several car tires on his property but when i went to see if i could find anything left in the trailer i seen 2 car tires under the trailor that had not burnt.. what he did was get those car tires from his land put them under my mobile set it on fire then when the fire reached the tires it burnt hotter so it would burn it down.. well it worked cause it burnt my trailor plum down to the ground.. and something else , he told the fire department the trailor was empty and had nothing of value in it and the fire department told the office who came out there that day that it had nothing of value in it and he put it in the report i have.

    hes going to get away with it cause the police are doing nothing about it. and i dont have any way of getting this guy behind bars. he is going to get away with it. it was arson plain and simple and the police wont do nothing cause the god damn FBI is probably telling them not to... i am being driven to do violence and i am begining to hate the police, the goverment and all. just because of some stupid stuff my niece did the god damn FBI will let an arsonist get away with destroying my home.. well let me tell you im taking the law into my own hands then turn it upon myself before being caught.. there is a thin line between being violent and being driven to violence, well im being driven to it.. and if the cops dont do anything about this then by grab i will cause i got nothing to lose anyhow and if i did get arrested i would never be alive to stand trial for it.. cause im dying anyways of cancer.

    btw it has not spread but has not gotten any better either
  4. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    By law unless I am way behind, is obligated to investigate even if it is to give a reason for the fire. How it started...... to eithe exclude or not arson. If they have failed to do their job, you can write a formal letter to the head fire department and ask that inquiry be done asap. Perhaps some clues can still be found.

    It is indeed shitty to loose all of our possessions yet they are material things that can eventually be replaced and memories are yours. None can steal or destroy them hun. See to the positive.... someone could have been hurt by the fire, intentionally or accidentally speaking. All that matters is that you weren't any near when it happends and you and your brother are safe.

    When your brother went to the doctor about his back problem, has he mentioned or went in with a worker's declaration form? Work related form to proof that it was work related...? If not he must do it asap for one... then call on the workers' compensation or geeee forgetting my words again...... the gov. department that protects workers rights. Slipped discs can either be treated or operated upon so that will be a short-medium term problem then be able to return to work (same or else as health will allow by that time). If work related, he will receive pension as far as I know... how quick that i have no idea but look into all possiiblities hun.

    From what you say about your cancer, it is stationary so dormant wich in itself is a good thing. Depends on the type you have, the dormant phase can last for years or else... you haven't given details so lets hope it remains this way. pisces-music girl is right hun.... you need some sleep and rest alot... it is premordial that you do.

    I am not suprised that with all the problems and issues you have and now face you feel depressed to give up but hun those are temporary things...... they dont last forever and things will do get better.

    What doesn't last is dying and no cure or treatment is possible which is NOT your case and material can be replaced as shitty as it might be. You believe that your neighbour is responsible for the arson? Ensure that the fire dep. does its job to conclude how the fire started....... and if it was indeed arson, then talk to the fire investigator as obligated to investigate and tell him of your doubts..... dont let him walk free...... this is what you must look forward and put your energies into...... ensure that truth comes out and be punished whoever did it........and if it was him and proven you can always sue him and get back something out of this whole thing........ so why not use this anger and disapointment you have inside to drive you to get justice?

    This is my opinion..... right or wrong as it might be...... but worth giving it some thoughts.

    Wishing you all the best and may thing work out for the better for you and your brother. You are not alone in this hun........ you have a brother next door that cares about you and will be there for and with you should you ask him and go ahead together to get what is right by you and for you.

    Be welll and safe hun
    you can also pm me if needed whenever you wish - like... the door is open

    granny xx
  5. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to say about the cancer not spreading since I am not a doctor. I don't know what God's plan is either... as I am not Him. Or Her.

    :hug: If you feel violent, take it out on something inanimate and not alive. Like a piece of wood or paper... I dunno, something... I am trying to help with this instance but I'm kind of at a loss for words...

    :hug: Feel better, WD. I'm gonna be around for a while tonight- the insomnia's back... :dry:
  6. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    the fire department is amish and it is a volunteer fire department.. they said that they dont have a criminal person to investigate such things.. and when i called the sheriffs office they told me they had little leads to go on.. let me tell you what the police report says.. this is the exact police report but i will leave out the names and addy of where the fire was at to protect my privacy online. here is what the police report says

    incident # 0711161946

    on 11-16-07 i received a call in reguards to a structure fire at ......... upon arrival the trailor was a total loss. i spoke with the fire dept. and they stated that the house was vacant and had been for some years. i went and spoke with the nabers that called the fire in and he stated that he came out to put anti-freeze in his car and smelled something burning and his son said to his dad that the trailor was on fire so ..... went back in and called 911 . as i was talking to ... he stated that his mom heard a 4 wheeler come out from the trailor just before it caught fire. the trailor didnt have any power to it and the fire dept. stated that it didnt have anything of value in it at the time of the fire. i was unable to contact anyone with this matter because no one knew who owened the trailor. the next day when i came back into work dispatch told me they had a message for me at the center. the message stated that i needed to call susan ... at ..... and also cell .... and was unable to make any 25s with anyone so i left my name and number for her to get back with me. today is the 18 of november and susan still has not called me back

    now that is the full report.. the fire department told the officer that nothing of value was in it because of what the neighbor told him there was nothing in it. when he knew darn well there was.. also the fire department said when they seen the bed in the back bedroom then they put the fire out.. the neighbor told them to let it burn.. that is what pied me off. and he said he didnt know whose trailer it was but yet the very next day drove over here to my house and told me it burnt.. i had called the officer that next day ( same day neighbor came and told me it burnt ) but then the stupid phone of mine torn up and i had to wait until monday for frontier to fix the phone so i could call the police back. couldnt call until then , because my cell phone.. stupid me the battery went out now i got to buy a nerw one..stupid car torn up, and all my neighbors here where i live at were gone for the holiday.

    it has just been one thing after another with me and i am getting tired of it. the police wont do anything because its me that owns the trailor. if it had been someone elses trailor they would have.. i believe they are going by the fire department saying nothing was in it because of my neighbor .. i know what he did.. he set it on fire watched it burn for a long time then called 911.. the police officer did not interview his mother who lives right next door to him they just interviewed him and i can bet you that his mom never heard any 4 wheeler at all.. i know this guy. he lies, hes mean and hes going to get away with it.. i am so mad , upset , angry,

    i havent slept, i havent eaten.. this same neighbor when i went to sift through the remains of the trailor tells me its a mess. i will clean it up for you.. he is in such a hurry to clean it up.. i guess so.. he burnt it and wants to clean it up.. heck they didnt even put up any tape around it or nothing.. i dont even know what or how it started. all i know is what the police officer told me that it started in the back door to the right..

    it is gone. nothing is standing from the bathroom to the front of the tongue is completly gone , just part of a floor.. i cant sleep because i keep thinking about it.. and it gets me madder and madder because they are not even trying to find out who did it, and i even called down there yesterday and left a message for the sheriff and told him that the neighbor told me he wanted to burn it, but the sheriff has not called me back and he was in the office that day..

    see why im upset and about had it with everything.. i will take the law into my own hands if they dont get him
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2007
  7. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    Hun, I'd be as mad as you are for this arson. I do not know however where you live yet the law is the law. If the fire dept. does not have fire department other than volunteers you must call the nearest town or city and report the fact. meanwhile I'd put a ribbon around the whole place with signs DO NOT TREPASS- call another town who has qualified firemen and invstigators (fireman always) and get moving their arsssssses.

    Police is not acting, you believe that they are not doing their job? Inform yourself through higher level of police forces. Do not let it passes, i repeat if you feel leased in that do use all of your anger positively........ if you give way to your negativity in a negative way, you will not accomplish anything hun......... and what you want is justice so use justice and get injunction or else....... but do go somewhere out of that place to get help...... higher level, write also to the congressman etc...... all it takes ..... call the media i dont know...... but do something instead of eating yourself up from inside.

    I haven't read all the posts so should you have mentioned the cancer you know already what i think bout that..... it is probably dormant so focus on what is priority for the moment being........ one thing at the time and do not spread your energies left and right..... make a plan... a list of who what needs to be contacted or else.

    if you want to fight, i will give you my support hun....... if you give up on hope to get justice it will be your own end.... so react and move that nice little behind of yours (your mouth and fingers to write should I say but oh well... between women we can allow ourself this fancy to lighter the whole thng..... dramatic enough as it is).

    hugs to you and head up hun
    you aint alone no matter what you've passed or gone though in life or with people... not all are assholes sort to speak.

    am as mad as you can be todayk (other reasons yet this is pissing me right off...... lets put our minds to hw to fix things up shall we?
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.