my life is a mess ( a nothing actually)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by siff, Apr 21, 2014.

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  1. siff

    siff Member

    Ok so my name is Martin from Estonia and I'm stuck in my own mind i guess. I no longer have a social life (almost) and keep making excuses meeting people or going places. Ive been thinking about sui for maybe 5 years or so. Actually my life isn't so terrible I'm just stuck in one place and don't move forward in my life. Ive kind of tried to kill myself sort of but every time theres something in the way, like someones telling me not to do it. First time i was drinking alone and had some sleeping pills and the thought popped in my head hey why not, so i decided to do it <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. At that time i couldn't find my garage keys and fell asleep in some time.
    <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> and woke up in the morning like nothing happened (damn).
    Last time was the worst i think, <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> Failure again. Now i have no car. The next day i tried to remember where i crashed the car but had really hard time remembering. All i remember was a slight bump in the trees but when i saw the car it was pretty f.... up.
    So right now i have no car, no job and no nothing and i know theres gonna come some kind of The right timing when I'm drunk again and pull some stupid stunt. Until then you could share some ideas or similarities of your own life. By the way i registered today here.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi and welcome to the site. :hug:

    I've had to edit your post because we're a pro-life peer-to-peer support site, and so the discussion of methods isn't allowed here. I hope you'll stay though, and reach out for support to help you hold on.
     
  3. BlueSky

    BlueSky Member

    If you think your life is a mess, or worthless, or whatever, try thinking of reasons to live. Maybe it's a big dream that you've always had. Maybe it's something really small. It can be as simple as loving the smell of rain. I know it sounds really stupid, but try looking for the little things in life that you enjoy. :hug1: that's what I did, and I thought it was really helpful.
     
  4. siff

    siff Member

    oh I'm glad i get some relieving tomorrow when i meet my herbal consultant if you know what i mean, and thats pretty much my life right now
     
  5. BlueSky

    BlueSky Member

    I see... Well think of something you've accomplished at some point in your life. It doesn't have to be huge, but there must be something. Also if you have a dream or want to do something later in life, that matters too. There has to be more to your life than just "nothing".
     
  6. siff

    siff Member

    thats just the thing, i don't really know what i should be doing with my life and witch direction should be going. Right now i work construction in Finland but thats no life. I think i have an identity crisis or something
     
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