my life is coming to an end

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Ihatemyfamily, Jul 17, 2010.

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  1. Ihatemyfamily

    Ihatemyfamily Member

    Thought id share myself with you..people that are in the same situation as me so will prob understand more than any 'outsiders'..

    Ive been planning my suicide for a lil while now..things have got 2 much for me,it's been so long that the pain is unbearable and more pressure gets added everyday..

    15 years ago my brother abused my daughter but none of my family cared,all they wanted was to stick by him and try help him get out of it with their lies to the court that they did just that..they helped him get off..

    some say he didnt do it and my child was a lying 5 yr old but il tell you something for a fact..I know it happened to her because i walked in on it..i saw it with my own eyes..

    i shouldve killed him there and then but the shock nearly killed me.

    my world fell apart..

    so much has gone on over the years with other accusations of him but no sentence whatsoever..

    i cut my whole family off..

    my daughter is now grown up and says she can live with it but if she ever comes across him she will kill him..

    lots of other things have been happening in my life over the years,some horrible things and im just going to get myself out of it and rest in heaven or maybe hell if i go there..who knows..who cares..when youre gone youre gone..

    not too far away now as i have just started going to the doctors to get sleeping pills for my planned exit..

    a few more weeks and im sure ill have enough..i have about 30 at the moment but i dont want to take them and them be able to bring me back or leave me in a vegetative thanx..the strengths are going up each time i go back as i fob them off theyr not actually smiling while i write this knowing its going to end soon..

    i have made sure that i have written letters to a few that have touched my heart along the just thinking wetha to take a hold of the paedo n take him with ..
    afterall he the 1 that fcuked my brains that would be the best way and he cant harm anymore lives :eek:)
  2. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Like what?
  3. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Im so sorry for your troubles. At least you did the right thing. Im praying for you and hop eyou do too. you are welcome to write me.

  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi , welcome. I can certainly see the anger in your words which is totally understandable. But it's important that you talk through these issues with someone, don't keep them inside. Are you willing to try therapy? :hug: 's
  5. Ihatemyfamily

    Ihatemyfamily Member

    ive had therapy,thankya sweetie..
    i dont know if this is normal but as im now approaching the end of my long journey and i know im going to finally rest,i sorta feel at a peace..
    i think that usually 1 feels sad when they are going to commit suicide but i actually feel sorta happy if ya get me..
    tc x
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