I think I am having depression for almost a year. I also have social anxiety all my life. I have never been to psychologist. I have no money (my parents don't even care, they don't give me any money, they don't work nothing) so I can't even go out with friends. I am still on college so I don't have time to work, and also it is very hard to find a job because I'm shy and have no experience in any job. Also they always tell me what to do, who to go out with even though I have 22 years, so I have to lie to them when I go out with someone they don't like. I also have to hide from them that I am lesbian. I think I will never graduate,because with my state now I can't even study. I started drinking more often and every time I fell even worse than before. One girl I really like (we kissed once) is ignoring me and doesn't like me and I can't stop thinking of her, I think I'm going crazy. This lasts very long time for over a year She always rejected all my invitations to go somewhere,and now we are in no contact at all. My life is falling apart on every side, I just don't see exit from this situation. <Mod Edit:Methods> I would be already dead. Only thing that is stopping me from killing myself is fear that it will hurt or that I will survive.