My life is falling apart.

[Anon Mouse]

My best friend hates me and is hiding it. My boyfriend doesn't know how to handle his own emotions and I take the fall out. My mum used to be close but I fucked it all up because I felt like she was controlling me.
I haven't spoken to my dad since fathers day and I only found him last year after not seeing him for 15 years.
The only good part of my life is my son but I don't want him to see me cry so I hide everything. I smile and laugh and pretend that I have it all together and people praise me and I feel so guilty all the time.

Thanks for reading my brain overflow.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you are going through this Anon Mouse

My best friend hates me and is hiding it. My boyfriend doesn't know how to handle his own emotions and I take the fall out. My mum used to be close but I fucked it all up because I felt like she was controlling me.
I haven't spoken to my dad since fathers day and I only found him last year after not seeing him for 15 years

Do you want to say more about this?

I'm glad you've got your son at least

Hugs

Wishing for things to get better soon

 

[Walker]

What is making you think these things? Such as your best friend "hates you and is hiding it". Sometimes these things get warped in our heads when we're depressed, you know? Im sorry you're feeling so crap right now.

 

[Anon Mouse]

Being mean to me on nights out with other people. I don't get out often as my son is special needs so when I do I really need to cut loose but she has made it impossible past few times so I asked her what her problem was only to be told that if she told me why she is against me right now I wouldn't understand and she's doing it for my wellbeing.
I had to tell her we can't go out together because I can sit around and wait for her to decide when "I" am ready to hear it. Thinking in circles about what it could be is mental torture so she must hate me to put me through that and think I can carry on letting her be mean like that.
My boyfriend is getting a bit better but I still can't open up to him. I tried with my mum but all she can talk about is Post natal depression and how it affected her and I always wanna scream and tell her that I am not her and this is not the 80's anymore.
I'm alone and sometimes I don't feel responsible enough to keep going. I really need someone to tell me it will be okay. That I am doing something right. That I'm not a complete failure but everyone adult around me is abusing their position. Trying to use me. Trying to get me to break up because they want me or after money or just want to complain all the time about mundane things like housework that I can hardly tell them that I am dying inside and eventually I'm going to give up.

 

[sinking_ship]

Hey Mouse. Are you seeing a therapist or taking meds or anything? The post natal depression thing is legit even if your mom is being annoying about it. I'm not a mom so I can't even begin to imagine how hard things are for you right now, but I bet you sure love the hell out of your son and that is definitely doing something right. I'm really sorry you don't feel supported by the people in your life. We're here to listen if you want to talk more. s*

 

[Anon Mouse]

I know it's real I know what she went through with my brother but I'm not depressed because I'm a parent. The only thing holding me together is that I am a mum.
I see someone every week. Due this Friday again too but not sure what I can say. On meds for anxiety but not really taking them because I suck... Maybe I don't know anymore.
Just seems pointless.

 

[VioletDawn]

I'm sorry it's so hard right now. I have no answers but lots of (((hugs))) for free

 

[sinking_ship]

I know it's real I know what she went through with my brother but I'm not depressed because I'm a parent. The only thing holding me together is that I am a mum.
I see someone every week. Due this Friday again too but not sure what I can say. On meds for anxiety but not really taking them because I suck... Maybe I don't know anymore.
Just seems pointless.

It’s not pointless. There is a way through for you and it’s worth it to find it. You’re worth it, and so is your son.

 

[may71]

That I am doing something right

Reaching out here for support is one of things that you are doing right.

That I'm not a complete failure but everyone adult around me is abusing their position

If your friend has presumed to abuse you "for your own good", that's definitely an abuse of her position

 

[Rythyn]

I know i'm late to this but did speak with you this morning (my time) and i'd be glad to give you a big hug. Don't give up your son needs you and let him be the motivation and determination to find away out of this bad situation. I wish I had more answers for you and wish you all the best.

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Coming into this late. HUGS. Hope it is getting better @Anon Mouse