My girlfriend dumped me a week ago, I'm still in love with her. I think about her all the time, I want her back more than anything in the world but I know it won't happen. She thinks I'm 'a psycho'. I want to hate her, but I can't. I love her too much. Everyone is making a big deal out of me not eating anything. Doctors think I have a disorder, all my friends keep going on about it when I wish they'd just leave me alone. I'm smoking weed every day now. I need it to feel even remotely happy, and it's still only for a couple of hours maximum. I'm spending too much money on it, but there's no other way to make me feel okay. I'm addicted to smoking cigarettes as well, I need to quit. I get a hard time from quite a few people because of that. And it doesn't help that I'm not eating. And because of all this, I'm behind on my college work. If I don't get 2 essays in for tomorrow, I risk being kicked out. So I have to do work and go to college despite the fact I'm really ill and I have all this emotional shit right now. It's not getting better. It's only getting worse and worse.