Don't read this. I warned you. It's my fault I didn't work hard enought now I'm 23 I've forgotten most of what I learned is high school and my grades suck. I have a PT job as a dishwasher that's all I can do wash dishs and wipe tables I'm worthless excuess of a person. I've only dated 3 people in my entire life I'm a joke to my "friends". I'm ulgy thats my fault too I didn't take care of my skin so I've had acme for years now my face looks like to moon. I'm addicted to BDSM porn:blink: It freaks my out I want to stop I wonder if it screws up the way I feel in relationships. I don't feel anything during sex or when I masterbate yet I can't stop the second I hate myself. My dad lost his job. We don't have much savings. Oh my little brother is mentally retarded thats great:sad:. I need to "get it in gear" but I can't.