My life is pointless

[Jjj]

I live alone and don't have a job. I feel like I'm in solitary confinement. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. Why bother? Today will be just the same as yesterday.
I know better to call crisis lines. I need someone to actually listen to me, not give me a bunch of platitudes. Besides, I know if the send a counselor out they will send a cop. That has been pretty bad in the past. I don't trust them based on self experience. People tell me not all cops are bad. True, but the bad ones to have it tattooed on their forehead. I feel like I have to be in guard just in case. After all, if they abuse me no one will believe me.
I feel very isolated.

 

[1964dodge]

I live alone and don't have a job. I feel like I'm in solitary confinement. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. Why bother? Today will be just the same as yesterday.
I know better to call crisis lines. I need someone to actually listen to me, not give me a bunch of platitudes. Besides, I know if the send a counselor out they will send a cop. That has been pretty bad in the past. I don't trust them based on self experience. People tell me not all cops are bad. True, but the bad ones to have it tattooed on their forehead. I feel like I have to be in guard just in case. After all, if they abuse me no one will believe me.
I feel very isolated.

 

[crumbum]

I know how that feels. For years I only left my apartment for work. One thing that worked for me was forcing myself to go outside for a walk. I had to make myself look somewhat decent to feel comfortable going outside so that motivated me to take a shower, put on fresh clothes. For a long time I could barely make it around the block and then back into the safe obscurity of my apartment, but after awhile it got easier, I felt more a part of the world even though I kept my headphones on and NEVER made eye contact with other human beings. It seems small, but it's somewhere to start. Keep posting, and welcome to SF, there are people here who understand everything you're going through.

 

[Paisley]

First off, I want to say that I share your sentiments towards the police and crisis lines, so I don't have much to say regarding those subjects.

What I do want to comment on is the part where you say you live alone and don't have a job. Right now there's not much that can be done about the living alone part because of the lockdown we're all in. But you can start to work at getting a career that will maybe help give you something to care about, you know? One thing at a time.

Was there a time you were happy before? If no, then what do you think would help you get to a point where you could be happy?

 

[KM76710]

Welcome and good to see you. I understand that isolation I am the same here, other than a few activities I am isolated from most of society around. Partly that I was never invited to join and partly that I just didn't care to. You will find people here that will listen and care.

 

[Champagne]

Hi, I can relate, i'm pretty isolated too apart from getting medicine and groceries, I spend way too much time on my own, that way there's less anxiety for me. Do you suffer from anxiety or just plain loneliness and isolation? Keep talking to us here, we're a good bunch