I have started to suffer intensely from a form of ocular rosacea 9 months ago. My eyelids hurt TERRIBLY, there are no words to describe the constant TORTURE they put me through. Ever since Spring, it gets worse from day to day. I spend a lot of time scouring the Internet for new means of treatment, and nothing works. Worse, usually it makes my lids hurt a LOT more and it doesn't go back to the day it was. I'm scared to try anything new, and I'm running out of options anyway. All the ophtalmologists here tell me there's nothing wrong with my eyes, but in these cases there's often a huge difference between visible symptoms, and the pain perceived by the patient. They are utterly ignorant and don't know anything. I've heard of a great expert in the US, but I have no money to go there. I just received my degree in the mail. It was a HUGE challenge to go to school in the last few months, I could barely read and couldn't listen to a thing the teachers say. But now it's useless, my job involves staring at a screen and my lids hurt so much I can't read for more than 20-30 minutes on a computer before the pain gets too much. I can't hold a single job even from home, and typing for long periods hurts my lids. The pain is there every waking second and it NEVER subsides. Everywhere I go, no matter what i do, it's THERE, and I can't do anything anymore. I can't watch video, I can't stand places with fluorescent lighting, I can't stand being outside for more than 20-30 minutes, I can't stand social encounters for more than 20-30 minutes... I can do nothing to pass time, I just stay in my room and wait for the day to end. Even having my glasses on hurts my eyelids too much for me to bear. My family doesn't want to see me anymore because I have nothing to talk about and I'm an embarassment to them. Right now it's SO hot in my apartment and it's killing my eyes, yet I have nowhere to go so I am forced to bear this horrible environment. There are so many things I can't stand doing because of my eyelids it cannot be put in words. I don't have a single friend anymore, and now I depend on welfare to survive. I'm almost 28, and I see my life passing me by, with the lifestyle of a derelict old man waiting to die in his hospice. I have no money to try further treatments and not a single person to talk to. Every day is worse than the last, I can't think straight anymore because the pain overshadows everything. If I didn't have my cat I might have killed myself already. I think the fact that I never have any female companionship is even harder on me than the pain. Suffering through this while never talking to anyone is like an horror movie that never ends. As long as I'm in this state, I'm an invalid whom no one wants to touch with a 10 foot pole. I don't want anyone's pity, I just want to be able to live a normal life in dignity without having so much pain.