My life is ruined

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Artifex, Apr 20, 2016.

  1. Artifex

    Artifex New Member

    Hello, sorry if I don't introduce myself much. Just wanted to talk to someone, because I'm in a very bad mood.
    I used to live with my girlfriend, then all of a sudden she packed and left and now won't see me or talk to me. She says I've been bad to her and when we fought I sometimes hurt her, but I swear I didn't want to, I would never hurt her or anybody... She was my whole life and I cannot live without her, of that I'm sure.
    It's been more than a week since she left, I haven't eaten much in these days, I haven't cooked and haven't gone to the supermarket since so I have nothing in the house. I've been sleeping on the sofa because I cannot even look at our bed without thinking about her. The sofa is very uncomfortable and all of my bones ache. I've been sleeping 2-3 hours per night. I haven't touched anything in the house, dust and dirt are starting to be visible, but I cannot touch her things which are still here. I've been spending most of my days crying, I haven't been going to work. I live alone in a different city than my family. I have no one to talk to.
    I can't take it any more. I'm considering suicide very seriously.... what should I do?
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi, and welcome to the forum

    I'm sorry to hear what happened.

    First of all, suicide is not the answer. I know things are bad, but there are other ways to move forward. Is there any way your family could come and visit, or you could come to them?

    However if you feel really desperate and don't trust yourself I think you should call a crisis line or go to your local hospital and tell them you are suicidal. It sounds like you need some help to pick yourself back up.
    If you dont want to take such 'drastic measures' maybe talk to your doctor about getting some counseling?

    Please take care of yourself. You need to get out of the house, maybe start small... take the bins out, see how that goes...
    The thing is, the more you stay inside the harder it is to get out and to get better. It's a vicious circle and I often find myself in it.

    Don't give up!
  3. BetrayedSoul

    BetrayedSoul Member

    Hey man. I know it's very tough time when the love of your life leaves you. The love of my life has recently left me as well. I still love her just like you do love your woman. The first few weeks will definitely be terrible. It's only been a month for myself and I am still feeling depressed and sad a lot of time. It;s definitely something that cannot be overcome that easily. I have had suicidal thoughts as well, I was even ready to do it. But when I arrived to the place where I wanted to end it all I just couldn't do it. Because of the pain my family would have to go through. I don't have my family around here as well. I am all alone by myself. But, man, what you have to do is trust yourself, find hope in little things. Cry. It will make it a bit easier. I cried a lot the first few weeks. Then I realized crying will not help me. You must try to believe that things will get better. And it will get better. I know, saying that it just takes some time won't help much, but time definitely will heal your wound. It might take a few months, or hell, even a few years.

    Try to be strong, try to be a man, try to stand up after this very tough blow to your heart by life. And when you will stand up, you will be stronger than you were before. You will change and become a better, stronger person if you manage to fight through these bad emotions. It is one of the toughest challenges of your life, which you must try to win. Try to be a winner and win this challenge. Winners never quit and quitters never win.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Artifex, I am really sorry you have found yourself in this position, break-ups are always hard, please reach out for professional help. If you lose your job you will feel even worse. Take it day by day and remember you're not alone in this fight. We're here for you. Please see a therapist or doctor, that could help you immensely.
  5. Artifex

    Artifex New Member

    You wanna know the "funny" thing? I actually am a doctor, a surgeon. Or I should say was, since I surely cannot work in this condition. Other people's lives depend on me, so I can't go to work like this... I think this is a wise thought, don't you think? Even if it's contributing to keeping me in the house since I don't have to work. And I don't want anybody to see me, a respectable man, like this.
  6. Artifex

    Artifex New Member

    Thanks for your support, anyway...
    Sometimes I think I don't wanna things to get better, since it will be without her. I don't know what will happen of my life if she's not coming back...
  7. Maniae

    Maniae Member

    Hey Artifex

    Hope you're doing better.

    Maybe you could use your family medical leave and take some time off to compose yourself.
  8. marie1216

    marie1216 New Member

    Hello......I can relate to you and Ive been thru it but all you can do is focus on yourself . If you dont focus on yourself you will ruin everything you have worked so hard to have. You need to stay focused and on track. You need to go back to work and keep you mind busy do what you know best