I dont know what to do anymore... i need help basically im a junior in high school. ive messed up my high school years badly by skipping school and what not. came down to the point where the school told me if i dont stop this i will have to get discharged. this was a slap to the face but i took it serious and went with it. i actually started to go to school. i had to stop once more cause i found out i was pregnant. i had to keep it a secret or my my family would of forced me to keep it and and i would bring so much shame to everyone. (please understand i really cant have a kid im to young n i knew if i kept it i would destroy my like n the baby father life and i have no way of supporting it). so i had to miss more days from all the appointments and from trying to recover from the abortion (which my mother thought it was food poisoning or something). ive found out they have discharged me from my school. i told myy mom there is a school that will help me out alot. it will give alot more credits and fast. she said okie.(also i found out my great grandmother is dieing. im suppose to visit her everyday but so far ive visited once im scared to look at her and face the fact that shes dieing).last night when i asked her to take me so i can just start school already she flipped. she told me "i should stop pretending that i care. im a nobody and going to end up a nobody. im garbage its my fault that im in this situation. everything bad thats happening is cause of me and she lost hope on me she just give up." she said much more but thats all i cant remember. most likly she is going to kick me out. i wouldnt dare go to my brother house cause once my brother finds out all this he will tell my father and my father is no joke. he will kill me not literally... but i will get beat down like if i was a random guy on the street and probally never see the light of day ever again. i just dont know what to do anymore . ive thought about suicide. i have so many pills and thought about just taking them all hoping it will end everything. ive also planned out the perfect suicide note. the pills seems like a quick and quiet way to go.