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my life is spiraling out of control

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xambiiex3, Nov 29, 2011.

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  1. xambiiex3

    xambiiex3 Member

    I dont know what to do anymore... i need help

    basically im a junior in high school. ive messed up my high school years badly by skipping school and what not. came down to the point where the school told me if i dont stop this i will have to get discharged. this was a slap to the face but i took it serious and went with it. i actually started to go to school. i had to stop once more cause i found out i was pregnant. i had to keep it a secret or my my family would of forced me to keep it and and i would bring so much shame to everyone. (please understand i really cant have a kid im to young n i knew if i kept it i would destroy my like n the baby father life and i have no way of supporting it). so i had to miss more days from all the appointments and from trying to recover from the abortion (which my mother thought it was food poisoning or something). ive found out they have discharged me from my school. i told myy mom there is a school that will help me out alot. it will give alot more credits and fast. she said okie.(also i found out my great grandmother is dieing. im suppose to visit her everyday but so far ive visited once im scared to look at her and face the fact that shes dieing).last night when i asked her to take me so i can just start school already she flipped. she told me "i should stop pretending that i care. im a nobody and going to end up a nobody. im garbage its my fault that im in this situation. everything bad thats happening is cause of me and she lost hope on me she just give up." she said much more but thats all i cant remember. most likly she is going to kick me out. i wouldnt dare go to my brother house cause once my brother finds out all this he will tell my father and my father is no joke. he will kill me not literally... but i will get beat down like if i was a random guy on the street and probally never see the light of day ever again.

    i just dont know what to do anymore . ive thought about suicide. i have so many pills and thought about just taking them all hoping it will end everything. ive also planned out the perfect suicide note. the pills seems like a quick and quiet way to go.
  2. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    Re: I dont know what to do anymore... i need help

    I know this probably sounds hypocritical coming from someone in the midst of her own suicidal crisis, but I think you can survive this and I really hope that you allow yourself to. Please don't take your mom's inexcusably horrible words to heart. You ARE somebody, you AREN'T garbage and honestly, while you certainly have *some* responsibility some of your circumstances right now, it is your parent's job to keep you safe and help you make the right choices until you are an adult. I think her harsh words and attitude towards you are more of a reflection at her disappointment at herself as a parent. I hope you will go to that school in spite of your mom and take advantage of the help they have to offer.

    If she does kick you out of the house, and there are no safe relatives you can stay with, there are options for teens who find themselves in your situation. I would start by googling "youth social services" in your area. If nothing else, they may be able to place you in some sort of teen foster situation that will give you a better foundation to start from as a young adult.

    Hang in there, Sweetie, and feel free to message me anytime. I'm not on all the time, but I'll get back to you as soon as I get your message. :console:
  3. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    Re: I dont know what to do anymore... i need help

    Hey there,

    I'm sorry to hear that so much is going wrong at this time. No matter what anyone tells you, you aren't garbage. You are worth something and your going to have a great future. You just have to give it time. For missing the last of the school that you missed due to the abortion..couldn't you have a doctors note? From the doctor who did your abortion? then maybe you wouldn't be kicked out of school. And I know how you feel about losing your great grandma. I lost my grandma and I had to be there while she died and that was no easy task. You should tell your mom that you are going to amount to something and all that stuff.
    Please don't commit suicide. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. All the problems you are talking about, sweetie, can be solved. We're here to help you think them through.
    Hope you are doing okay. If you need anything, feel free to PM me. <3
  4. Brandt

    Brandt Well-Known Member

    Hopefully you reconsider, you should go into your school and explain to the principle face to face your situation. You would be surprised how understanding and helpful schools can be when it comes to personal situations like yours. Your mother shouldn't have said those things to you but this is your chance to prove her wrong, show her how much you do care.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I was going to say exactly what Brandt has just said.
    Go talk to your headmaster/principle and lay it all on the line.
  6. xambiiex3

    xambiiex3 Member

    thanks guys im going to try that out hopefully everything goes well
  7. xambiiex3

    xambiiex3 Member

    Re: I dont know what to do anymore... i need help

    Thank you guys for ur kind words...it means so much to me, i will try to keep u guys updated hopefully. i am going to the school and explainin them whats happening and how i really need this second chance.. with the whole me getting kicked out i am looking for places to stay
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