My life is unmanageable

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Funky B, Sep 10, 2016.

  1. Funky B

    Funky B New Member

    I have everyone of yours reasons for suicide plus some going on in my life. My son and wife passed; lost two homes; lost my health which in turn ruined my finances. I'm a burden to my family. I remarried and am now going through divorce. I'm so alone and I've tried to commit suicide 3 times recently and was sent to psyche ward. It is very difficult to kill yourself. I just want the pain to stop!
     
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I can't even imagine what you are going through. Especially the loss of a son. That just isn't the way things are supposed to work. It sounds like the psych ward didn't really provide any help. But I am glad it is difficult to kill oneself and that you are still with us. I am getting on in years myself and my health is going downhill. I dread the idea of giving everything I have worked for to doctors. So I do have some understanding of that part of what you are going through. I gather your pain is both physical and psychological. Can't the doctors do something for the physical pain? Psychological is so much harder. Especially with all the loss you have experienced. And the old line that time heals all really is just an old line. You will find all kinds of support here. I hope it will help make you feel less lonely. And that you will keep up the fight to find some happiness in life.
     
  3. WALLY GASKIN

    WALLY GASKIN Well-Known Member

    Hello,and welcome.Im Wally,new here too.Im sorry for your loss,I know that doesnt help much,but all we can do is listen.Your story sounds very much like mine.I have lost everything too.I dont have a life,and zero friends in the real world.My depression,and no self esteem make it impossible.Anytime you want to talk,feel free.Also see my story on this forum Depression,loss,failure,and suicide thoughts. Please take care.
     
  4. Funky B

    Funky B New Member

    Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry anyone has to go thru this. I've only been this way for about 6 months. I can't imagine carrying this much longer. Life will never be the same. No love, no happiness, no joy; justbullshit feelings of despair. I hope you make it thru! I hope a miracle happens for you! I'm close to checking out. <mod edit methods > I will be happy when the time comes. I will be free. I know it's a personal thing and I don't want others to take the path I'm taking. I hope they have the will to fight harder than I did! My sister is afraid. She knows how much I've changed. I've lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks. She knows I'm losing it. It's a shame no one can help me. I'm resigned to slip into the darkness.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 11, 2016
  5. Funky B

    Funky B New Member

    Thank you silly old bear. I've been dealing with physical pain for 27 years. It's nothing compared to the loss of my son. I'm sorry for your pain and loss. I understand and hope something or someone great comes into your life to help pull you out. I used to have faith that moved mountains. I've lost faith in the human race. I view people as self seeking and lovers of self no matter who they destroy in the process. I wish it weren't true. All I have are my experiences to draw from. I'm sure all aren't like that; just the ones in my life have been. This world is no place for people with big, soft hearts. It crushes people like that but it's the way I am. May God pull you up by the boot straps and set you free!
     
  6. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Thank you Funky B. I truly appreciate your well wishes for me. 27 years is a very long time to deal with physical pain. Mine is only about 3 years old, but I see no end to it, except death. I have never married or had children so I can only try and imagine your loss there. I have to agree with you. This world is full of self seeking, money grubbing people who will do anything and destroy anyone to achieve their ends. And while my faith is weak, I continue with church and have found some caring people there. People who value humans over money and power. The "Church" itself seems to have gravitated more to money and power. My heart was soft once, but this world has hardened it. But there still are the rare moments that do make me glad to be alive. A glorious sunset for example. And this absolutely wonderful couple, in their mid-nineties, at my church. I pray that you will found some moments like these. Moments that will make this life worthwhile for you.
     
    WALLY GASKIN likes this.
  7. WALLY GASKIN

    WALLY GASKIN Well-Known Member

    Thank you my friend,I can really say I know what your going thru.My mom,dad and wife died two years ago.Married for 26yrs.I tried to start over.Got a high stress job that I hated,but got a nice truck.Met a beautiful woman,and our love was like a movie.Then she broke off the wedding one day before.Lost my job due to depression,and my truck got repoed.Now I have no one,and everything I had is gone.I dont get it.We work hard for a goal,then die,and end up a box of ashes.I feel your pain,and I really feel so helpless as I would love to help you.Please feel free to chat.Sometimes thats all we have.I have not been the same since they died.
     
    SillyOldBear likes this.
  8. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hey Wally, thank you. Glad you found the forum, but am sorry anyone needs it. I have adapted well to living alone. It truly is not a bad life. A lot of freedom comes with it. But I remember how lost my dad was when mom died. That was 30 years ago! Both my parents are gone now, but that is the natural order of things. And I will always have their memories. I am sorry you lost your fiance the way you did, and that your folks have passed. I understand the depression that followed. And your belief that now you have no one. But SF is a pretty cool place. Lending an ear to others can help bring some purpose to life. And you find people from all over the world here.

    You are right. We work hard for a goal, die and are buried. But that is how it has always been. And that is the way it should be. I would hate to have to work this hard forever.
     
  9. WALLY GASKIN

    WALLY GASKIN Well-Known Member

    Thank you Sillyoldbear,I guess I think the same way a lot of these people do.Life is too hard for many of us,and pointless and meaningless.My only fear is getting old and ugly,and being alone.Every one I want to talk to is gone.Having someone to love can make the difference between life and death for most of us. Goodnite Dear
     
  10. WALLY GASKIN

    WALLY GASKIN Well-Known Member

    WallyWorld here,hey funky B.how do you feel?
     
  11. electricalanomaly

    electricalanomaly too sad to say hi.

    I'm sorry you have to go thru this.
     
  12. WALLY GASKIN

    WALLY GASKIN Well-Known Member

    Hey electricalananomaly.Wally here,How do you feef?