My life is worthless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jmoney1014, Aug 16, 2016.

  1. jmoney1014

    jmoney1014 New Member

    Here are 17 reasons why my life is not worth living:

    1. I don't have a passion. It's a disgrace that I have to study something just because I don't have any other options. I can't relive my wrestling career because there's nothing I can do that I love as intensely and do as intensely.

    2. My social skills are nonexistent. First of all, I find that most people don't want to talk to me because I'm nervous. Why would someone want to talk to someone else who is nervous because of them? The most frustrating part is I know exactly how bad my social skills are, but there's nothing I can do about it.

    3. Social situations are more like a chore to me when they should be something fun. I can't even practice correctly because I don't have very many opportunities and even if I do get social practice, it's pointless because I never think of anything to say. My brain freezes and my mind is blank. How am I supposed to hold a conversation if I can't even muster up words to say?

    4. Conversations are boring and repetitive. I have nothing to talk about because there's nothing I'm proud of. All my conversations are extremely brief and they are all the same. I'm not even present in a group of 3 or more because I can't keep up with the conversation.

    5. I don't have a social life. I don't have any friends I'm proud to call friends. I feel embarrassed with the people I'm surrounded with. I can't be friends with anyone normal. Whenever I try to make normal friends, I either follow people and act third wheel or deliberately get excluded. I can't even spend a lot of time with my loser friends. Even if I do find a shared activity with somebody, how am I supposed to actually get to know someone if there's no conversation? Also I usually get rejected probably because of my ineptitude and nervousness. Furthermore, I don't have any kind of physical relationship and even worse, I have no friends of the opposite sex. I know exactly how to make friends and spark attraction, but I can't do it.

    6. I have no real interests. I don't like anything at all and thus have no fun and nothing to talk about with other people. I just sit around and waste all my time.

    7. I never get public recognition. I would love to be famous and know that it's a far reach, but still I don't get the kind of respect I deserve from the people I know.

    8. I don't know how to problem solve. I'm inept at fixing basic things and always need help with the most basic tasks.

    9. I never got into a social frat. I could've fixed all my social problems but like I said, I don't get the respect I deserve from other people.

    10. I'm not good at anything at all and thus have no success with anything.

    11. I can't lose weight nor exercise efficiently. I keep getting shin splints whenever I run or walk. I can swim but I hate swimming. I'm also overweight because of the weight gaining medicine I take. If I try to lay off the food, I'm always hungry and that feels horrible.

    12. I have low status. I can't convey higher status without coming across as an arrogant prick. I have to be polite, modest, humble, and meek just to appear socially acceptable. I'm also shorter than almost everyone which makes me feel inferior.

    13. I come across as a boy and no one takes me seriously because of how young I look.

    14. I can't get out of bed and stay in bed until a crazy hour.

    15. I can't handle drugs and alcohol. They can be a fun social thing but I act too weird with it because of my messed up brain.

    16. I can't play contact sports which I love because of my messed up brain.

    17. I already alienated all my potential friends at school because of last semester.
    What's the point of living that life? I'm sick and tired of living through this and can't stand many more years of this kind of life. My doctor can change my medicines all he wants but I still feel the same as I did before taking the medicine. There's no point in the medicine and all it does is make me fat. I don't see how I can fix this. Any ideas?
  2. Deety

    Deety Well-Known Member

    Hi, I am heading to bed now, so this will be short...
    4) you don't need to talk about yourself at all to be good at conversation. The majority of people will enjoy a conversation the most when you are showing interest in them. Ask questions and use prompts to keep the person talking and enjoying the conversation. A lot of people don't even realise the conversation was only about them, but they know they enjoyed talking to you (basically because you made them feel good/interesting).
    12) Perhaps things are different if you are still at school, but I wouldn't respect someone who spoke arrogantly or rudely. I don't think there is anything wrong with being polite and modest.
    Anyway, you have made a detailed con list, do you think you could make a pro list too? Even if you don't end up with as many reasons you may surprise yourself.
    All the best and take care.
  3. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi jmoney and welcome to SF. I guess we could be here a very long time debating the points you raise here. The one that really stands out is the issue of respect. No one deserves respect, you have to earn it. If you are socially excluded, then its going to be difficult to earn the respect you feel you deserve. So its how to break the cycle of that particular issue.

    Amongst this list, not once do I see mentioned what is actually the real issue, your illness. You are taking medicine, ok, thats good usually, but it makes you fat. There are so many meds out there its unreal and often you need to try a few before you find one that works for you. Not knowing what your health problem is, we cant help in that respect. I also see no mention of any therapy at all. Are you involved in any therapy at all right now?

    Its easy to be negative about everything that happens in our lives and when things are going wrong, we become even more negative. Deety is correct, have you stopped to think of some reasons why you should live?

    I was a sportsman as wwell until 8 1/2 yrs ago. i thought me and soccer were done. But something new is available called walking soccer. I use sticks and I am allowed to be involved using my sticks, so all is not lost. I am sure you can find something that you can participate in but you have to get out there and find it, its not going to just land in your lap. Time to be a little more proactive maybe?
    moxman likes this.