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My Life MUST end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iwannadie0813, May 14, 2008.

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  1. iwannadie0813

    iwannadie0813 Member

    All that has happened to myself only has myself to blame.

    I was greedy and succumb to temptations.

    Now I'm paying for it and with my dad making me feel like shit everyday don't help at all. Plus, your little sister knows what daddy always says about me and harps on it even more.

    To my family, I'm just a despicable, ruthless, useless, dishonest girl. No matter what nice things I do, my bad things always cover up for the better things I do.

    I've done my family alot of wrong especailly my dad. i felt most sorry towards him. If it hadn't for my laziness and greediness, i wouldn't have caused any of these tragedies at my home. I'm such a troublemaker.

    Now, I'm also in debt because of some stupid guy that I knew. I need about 2000 bucks and I don't have it. Neither does my dad nor my mom. So I'm just practically waiting to die.

    My dad just screamed at me just now with my mom. Calling me stupid, disgusting, etc etc infront of my housekeeper who probably lost all respect for me.

    My mom threw a pillow at my face and I felt tiny. Am I so disgusting to look at?

    I've had enough. My dad came in with the phone bill and threw it at my face asking me to settle it or else I'll get sued by the phoneline company.

    See? I've no reason at all to live.

    I prayed to Jesus everyday. He didn't do no fuck about anything. I'm just ... maybe a shadow to him? Or maybe, it's time for me to go.

    I'm thinking of how to die.. any suggestions? I've had enough of life.
  2. effinhell

    effinhell New Member

    Wat bout da guy and the 2000 bucks issue man? voice it out and we will c if we can help:smile:
  3. iwannadie0813

    iwannadie0813 Member

    i guarantored for this guy 2000 bucks

    and now that guy's ran off.

    and the people are comin after me for the 2000 bucks.

    im practically waiting to die
  4. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    Do not end your life all because of a mistake that you made. "One swallow does not make a whole summer". Tell me someone who doesn't make mistakes in life. Everyone does as it's PART OF LIFE! We learn from our mistakes and not from our successes. If you don't make mistakes, how will you ever learn? 2000 is an amount which you can earn back in time. Why do you want to end your life for $2000? Is your life worth so little?

    As part of my growing up, I chalked up a total credit card debt of 60k and my parents had to bail me out as i had no means to pay. Although it was a really terrible mistake, I learnt never to owe credit cards anymore and it has been more than 10 years since I ever owed money to banks while many of my friends still work their ass off servicing their credit card instalments. I learnt from a terrible mistake while my friends have yet to learn. Who is better off at the end of the day? go figure.
  5. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    You sound like someone who should live. Maybe you need to try and find someone to talk to other than people who are mean and cruel towards you. I think everyone deserves a better life and I hope things will get better for you.
  6. Boratz

    Boratz Well-Known Member

    Lastcrusader put it I cannot say. Everybody is entitled to go through mistakes, we learned from them. This is not a bullshit so you caN FEEL BETTER This is the truth about life. We go through them for one reason or another . I cannot judge jodge your parents ,but I can only speculate that maybe this is a test the understanding of people & it manifests in front of your eyes. I told my son this always, there is nothing he can do to stop me from loving you. This love must exist fromparehts to a child.

    Remember we did not choose to be born,they did. Maybe one day they got knocked out fromstupid things they also did ,so you are here.

    Rub this on their face, & ask them they shoiuld be accountable for bringing you up in this cruel world,coz you did not choose it,they did ,& they took apleasure in making you. No their blaming you blaming for you for stupid things they did? Say it ,look them them in their eyes.

    Credut cards,honey I have a good fair share of them, I always put this in my mind, Credit is no fucki n hell if you are 6 feet below the ground.
    Intimidation works when faced by a bully , there nothing profound in this world when you tell the TRUTH.


    Last edited by a moderator: May 14, 2008
  7. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    GET A JOB?

    also if you have a housekeep a doubt $2000 is a great deal to your parents. :dry:
  8. xenflyz

    xenflyz Member

    $2000 is nothing, just carry on and stay positive geez.
  9. Sentient-Blizzard

    Sentient-Blizzard Well-Known Member

    your parents seems to be the problem in my opinion
  10. iwannadie0813

    iwannadie0813 Member

    yes its actually my parents.

    i feel so damn ashamed to be their daughter. . . my dad ain't working, my mom has cancer. so 2000 bucks ain't really NOTHING. it's SOMETHING and it's not somethin we can obtain easily.

    PLUS those are illegal lenders im talkin about. they don't wait for your salary to come in honey. they knock on your door and the whole neighborhood knows about it.

    I'll implicate my parents indirectly again.

    I think I'm just so damn stupid. And I'm just counting my days.

    I have no money. My family hates me. I have so little friends because I was such a nerd through school, my sister lost all respect for me.

    And the only way to escape those damn creditors is simply to end it all off. then you dont' ahve to pay your debts. right?
  11. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    If your unsure about legal aspect, talk to some one qualified. You could probably save a lot of money if you did the chores instead of the housekeeper. I not sure your looking at your situation rationally.
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You may not have to worry about debts because you don't plan on being around much longer. You need to know that once your gone your family absorbs those debts. They also are going to be stuck with your funeral expenses.Good Luck,
  13. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    This isn't the 1700's you know. But I am not sure of your exact circumstances and what state or nation you live in. A funeral costs quite a fair bit I think.
  14. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Dear I wanna die can I ask how old are you firstly?please we can work through this trust me want to know why?Ok year's back I lent shitload's of money to people including family member's only to be used and screwed I spent heap's on shit I would never use you name it.But I know this is painful I understand seriously and I'm not going to fool you and say all will be swell and you will feel sweet in two second's.

    The fact's we can try and look at is what can we do about all the thing's that are making you feel the way you're look I know this all sound's like bullshit talk but this is serious and you're hurting I'm being serious I want to see you get through this honestly!
  15. Clover

    Clover New Member

    I think the fact that you have come on the forum and posted this, means that there is a part of you that wants to live, rather than die. Sometimes, when a situation seems completely impossible and too traumatic to see a solution to, death seems like a way out of all that pain. It's not difficult to find a way to die, what is harder sometimes is to find a way to live in a situation which doesn't look as if it's ever getting any better. Perhaps the fact that you feel you have messed up so badly and appear such a 'worthless' person to your family makes you feel that you don't deserve life. You may have messed up, but you are not a bad person. You seem young, there's years left to live and I hope that somehow or other you can find the strength to live through the judgement of others on you, the debt and the negativity all around you. I know how damming negative and judgemental comments can be and how guilt can work it's way in and make you feel there's no other way out, because I have hit rock bottom on more than one occasion. But I hope you can find some support in your situation through a friend, someone who believes in you. Because no matter what you are feeling, you deserve life, a clean slate and a second chance. Don't give up on that.
  16. dreamwarrior

    dreamwarrior Active Member

    I tried to kill myself over a phone bill too
  17. iwannadie0813

    iwannadie0813 Member

    ok i sort of failed at my attempt to die.

    -.-" i'm still trying to think of how to improve on that. -.-" it was retarded
  18. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm glad you are still with us, even tho you might have mixed feelings about surviving.

    everybody's breaking point is different, and $2000 can be alot of cash when you are broke.

    i think the best thing to do is to come clean to your parents and let them help you figure out how to fix the debt. is there anyone you can talk to about your attempt? like a counsellor or a doctor? help is available.
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