All that has happened to myself only has myself to blame. I was greedy and succumb to temptations. Now I'm paying for it and with my dad making me feel like shit everyday don't help at all. Plus, your little sister knows what daddy always says about me and harps on it even more. To my family, I'm just a despicable, ruthless, useless, dishonest girl. No matter what nice things I do, my bad things always cover up for the better things I do. I've done my family alot of wrong especailly my dad. i felt most sorry towards him. If it hadn't for my laziness and greediness, i wouldn't have caused any of these tragedies at my home. I'm such a troublemaker. Now, I'm also in debt because of some stupid guy that I knew. I need about 2000 bucks and I don't have it. Neither does my dad nor my mom. So I'm just practically waiting to die. My dad just screamed at me just now with my mom. Calling me stupid, disgusting, etc etc infront of my housekeeper who probably lost all respect for me. My mom threw a pillow at my face and I felt tiny. Am I so disgusting to look at? I've had enough. My dad came in with the phone bill and threw it at my face asking me to settle it or else I'll get sued by the phoneline company. See? I've no reason at all to live. I prayed to Jesus everyday. He didn't do no fuck about anything. I'm just ... maybe a shadow to him? Or maybe, it's time for me to go. I'm thinking of how to die.. any suggestions? I've had enough of life.