My life not theirs!

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by gmet, Oct 19, 2013.

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  1. gmet

    gmet New Member

    I made my first serious attempt on 7th Sep this year. Nobody else knew or knows now what I did. I only failed because I was too drunk to realise what I did wrong. The next day and sober I had the chance to reflect on what I did and talked over my troubles with my wife. I didn't tell her about my failed suicide, but talking lifted me partly out of my depression. I still have serious thoughts about trying it again and if I find myself in the same situation, then I know I will be successful in taking my own life.
    My wife knows that I have had suicidal thoughts, but not that I have tried to take my own life. Her comments are that I should think about those that love me and what it would do to them if I took my own life!
    What about me?????
    Don't my thoughts count in MY LIFE!!!!
    I am just about holding things together right now, which is why I am writing this instead of getting my exit gear together for the end of my life.
    Talking (or rather writing about it) helps me hold on to life, as does a few drinks. OK, yes, I know drink doesn't solve anything, but it does help life's troubles fade a little.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Perhaps you should talk to your wife let her know about your attempt so she can help you get some supports in place. alcohol may help in the moment but it will eventually make the depression worse I hope you talk to your doctor and get some the help there is to pull you out of these thoughts you are having
  3. the black raven

    the black raven Well-Known Member

    Hello, yes you should talking to your wife about it. When you got married, you share your life to your spouse. It's not yours alone. Maybe you are the one who live your life, but she's your soulmate now, half of you. She deserve to know. I'm sorry you feel this way. Maybe seek professional help? I'm on medication and it really does help....even a bit, at least it keeps me away from doing something that I may regret.... Hope you can fight and get the motivation to do it!

  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi there. Alcohol can help in the moment. But it creates people to feel even more suicidal after a while. and the thinking does become distorted which can make matters even worse. Alcohol can cause much more pain. You ask: "What about me?????
    Don't my thoughts count in MY LIFE!!!!" They do. So maybe thats a good reason to get help. Because your thoughts do count.
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    NeverSunset just said it very well. When you get married, you take vows which amount pretty much to pledging your word... and in life, our word really is the only thing we each really do own fully. Marriage is a partnership and, as a team, you should work together to resolve how you are feeling. It sounds as if she might be receptive to that too.
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Of course your thoughts count. If you believe your thoughts and opinions or feelings are not being giving proper consideration then the ending your life is not the only or best solution. If you feel your thoughts are being ignored then what needs to be done is to work on the relationship. You can fix a relationship sometimes to work through it and get a better understanding of what each others needs are so you can be mutually supporting (for example her supporting you in whatever areas are causing the negative thoughts and suicidal urges and you staying around to be there for her). If the relationship is the root cause of the issue then and you cannot fix it then you still do not need to end your life when ending the relationship is the real answer.

    So far as the alcohol goes - it may be fortunate it caused an error in your attempt but it is just as possible lacking the alcohol the attempt may not have occurred. In addition, while it may numb you for a few hours when drunk, the depressive side effects of alcohol last far longer than the intoxication. The processing and metabolizing the alcohol alters brain and body chemistry so you are not only more depressed when drinking it , but after your blood alcohol level is back to zero, the altered chemistry in your body (that starts feeling like a hangover but continues for hours after the more blatant signs like a headache are gone) still is acting as a depressant. That is why the cycle of alcohol - you drink it to feel better for a short while , or not to feel at all, then when you sober up it is still making you even more depressed than you were before having consumed it making the pain worse so a greater need to drink and be numb again.

    From one large study - Up to 40 per cent of people who drink heavily have symptoms that resemble a depressive illness.
    However, when these same people are not drinking heavily, only 5 per cent of men and 10 per cent of woman have symptoms meeting the diagnostic criteria for depression – not that different from the rates of depression in the general population.

  7. Ai To Hikari

    Ai To Hikari Active Member


    Since we are all of the same source. One person's suicide affects everyone.

    Ai To Hikari.
  8. Hopelessinsalem

    Hopelessinsalem Well-Known Member

    I too am struggling with some issues leaving me feel hopeless and fearful, and I've been right on the edge several times over the past few days. But at the same time I'm. Realizing that suicide is the ultimate selfish act, and I've been pulled back by the thought of what it would do to my children and grandchildren.

    I know in my situation I'm so focused on what I'm feeling and my family is so focused on what they're feeling that neither of us seem to be here for the ther, which is part of what's got me feeling so hopeless.

    But what keeps me pulled back is something my daughter said to me when I called her the other day. She Said "this sounds like you're saying goodbye, and I could never forgive you if you did that". She started to cry, and the emotion in her voice has made me think more than once.
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