I made my first serious attempt on 7th Sep this year. Nobody else knew or knows now what I did. I only failed because I was too drunk to realise what I did wrong. The next day and sober I had the chance to reflect on what I did and talked over my troubles with my wife. I didn't tell her about my failed suicide, but talking lifted me partly out of my depression. I still have serious thoughts about trying it again and if I find myself in the same situation, then I know I will be successful in taking my own life. My wife knows that I have had suicidal thoughts, but not that I have tried to take my own life. Her comments are that I should think about those that love me and what it would do to them if I took my own life! What about me????? Don't my thoughts count in MY LIFE!!!! I am just about holding things together right now, which is why I am writing this instead of getting my exit gear together for the end of my life. Talking (or rather writing about it) helps me hold on to life, as does a few drinks. OK, yes, I know drink doesn't solve anything, but it does help life's troubles fade a little.