My Life Please Help ME

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by maple540, Jul 18, 2011.

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  1. maple540

    maple540 New Member

    This is pretty long so just try to read it all Thanks :)
    Here I am in my life with no dad one mom. Moving from house to house with no money or
    no love, only from a mom that used to abuse me and alwasy emotional about everything.
    Never saw my dad ever in my life. My mom dating other guys giving her more stress cuz she breaks up with them for fight.
    Her crying every night and day, she has a problem of fighting with many people and not getting along
    I was adopted 2 times and my mom took me back 2 times
    Ive been through so much that I can't take it anymore
    I can't do good in school because im too focused on my
    life and what will happen when I go home.
    Im only 13 and what will happen to me in the future.
    Worst part moms suicidal...But what can I do?
    She trys so hard to kill her self and I have to stop her everytime.
    Her boyfriend come over and gets drunk with her. Two drunk people and
    one child who has a heart that is empty, no love it is filled with. Its been around 6 times she tried to kill her self.
    She cut her wrists but she was lucky once. Then she ate 24 sleeping pills while I was in korea visiting my grandparents.
    She went to the hospital and got phycology tests. She still hasn't gotten better. She fights with people at work also.
    My life After school everyday I see kids running to their fathers screaming "Daddy!". I wanna know how it feels when
    you are with your dad. Hanging on his arms hugging him in his arms. But this doesn't happen to me. Once I held on to my mom, staying awake
    all night so she doesn't try to kill her self again. I had to stay up all day looking at her face how she sleeps and wondering what i should
    do with my life. Nothing is good in my life maybe some little things but not true happiness. Lonliness is the only feeling I get in this life.
    I laugh when kids say "I miss daddy" I show a smirk and think is that so bad? Try living with nothing in your life, feeling like crouching in the corner
    everyday. I had to move 5 times because she couldn't pay her bills. I never ate a dinner with my whole family. Im always alone on my table eating so crap that my
    mom buys. Why is this happening to me? Do u think thers a point of living in these conditions? I stay away ealmost everyday hearing my mom scream at her boyfreind.
    My mom getting choked by her boyfreind's son. The life I tend to go to... it isn't worth it.
    Without love theres a hole in your thats searches for love. As time goes on my heart fades away every second. Tears fall down my cheecks as often as I sleep.
    Nothing excites me anymore. Everything is bull shit. I mostly gave up now.... HELP ME....[/FONT]
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you need to be telling this to your councilor at your school call authorities even children services hun You should not have to live like this
    Please if there is a crisis line a children help line call it okay talk to someone that can help you and your mother perhaps. Talk to someone okay teacher someone who can step in and make your life better hugs
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