LIFE STORY OF CARMEN. it seemt like yesterday was so happy but today is not seemt like 4 weeks ago it was perfect but now its not seemt like ive been living in a drema ever since but now im not seemt like everything was in order, place, and where it should have been. but unfortunately not anymore. seemt like everyone's drifting away in happiness but im not. seems like im always drowning in myself with these emotions and i am seems like im living in hell these past few weeks and goddamnit...i am. seems like everything is falling apart and so am i. feels like sometimes i just want to... break break break away from these people that i fear. these assholes. so scared becoz their so unpredictable. becoz their so powerful becoz im so impulsive becoz im so weak becoz im scared... for one reason that defeats it all. day by day slowly passes by as i enjoy the view from a different perspective i see the world through different eyes. i think what i see i think what i feel. but no matter what my opinions are always... forgotten. my opinions never... count. my opinions are never... heard. my opinions dont mean anything at all. its so frustrating so irritating so exasperating so ... useless. in the end... all these emotions accummulated will be worth nothing. but it'll definately be worth the sorrow i've caused myself. freak its so depressing all this crap. how i feel inside. but never on the outisde. how everytime it feels so hopeless. i just hafta wait it out...slowly day by day. it'll all fade away. but that scar still remains. ill be myself. but im not welcomed to do so. ill be me but im not obligated to do so. ill be true but im not required to do so. but ill do it anyways. but they get mad becoz i dont follow. becoz i take my own paths becoz im not a fuking follower like them becoz im myself becoz im original seems liek ill never past this point of life seems like time is passing by slower than usual fuk im in a badmood bitches all fuking me up. everyone hides beneath their fake thoughts under all that are true opinions true personailties REAL people. that sumhow.. im just never going to beable to see... well atelast not from this point. ill put on my happy face for you but you'll give me the "you're not cool enough" face to me ill put on my optimistic face for you. but you'll give me the "you're a dumbass loser" face to me ill put on my cheery face for you but you'll give me the "you're a fucking bitch" face to me. ill put these faces for you day to day. hoping one day u'd take me for real. but god fukit. i dont need to act depserate. i dont need you at all i dont need your jackass whining i dont need your snobby attitude and i definately dont need you hating me but you'd be hatin' forever.