My life storyy part 1? maybe

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by xobookwormxo, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. xobookwormxo

    xobookwormxo Member

    So this is basically going to be my life story so be prepared. When since I could remember my parents fought constently fighting over everything and anything they could they didn't care that me and my brother were in the room. My brother is so lucky he cannot remember it. They got divorced when I was seven. I got depressed and basically ate my feelings unlike my mom who didn't eat at all. I got made fun of and mocked by my dad's side of the family and people in school. As soon as they got divorced I was moved from a public school where I had amazing friends with who I was so close with to a private school which was the most stupidest idea my parents had ever had because it costs 15,000 for me and my brother. Anywayy I was made fun of and called names all three years i went and then I finally convinced my mom to let us go back to public school. My old friends didn't accept me anymore because I was fat and didn't wear all the "cool" brands. I knew barely anyone and it sucked. I got my first serious boyfriend and I fucked my life up from there on... I started with this guy lets call him jake. So I hung out with jake and broke up with my boyfriends of 1 year( he now hates me). jake convinced me that he loved me and one day he took advantage of me and raped and this was the beginning of 9th grade and i was somewhat of a cool person i guess. He ruined my entire reputation along with my life. He told everyone that I wanted to do it. I then slept with almost every guy I liked because I needed that closeness and I guess I thought if I kept doing it I'd find the right person and the memories would go away but as of now I'm wrong I stopped sleeping with people though. Last year my Pop-Pop died and it was the most depressing thing ever I really wanted to tell him about the rape because I trusted him enough not to judge me or tell my father but I never got the chance to. I neeed to stop writing right now because sleep is needed but I guess I'll write a part 2 soon.Nighht
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you stopped letting these guys use you I hope you get help now tell a professional someone who can help you heal and move on okay. When your young you trust everyone not your fault there peole with no conscious I hope you start taken care of you now okay A psychologist a therapist someone
    You are important and you are specail your grandpa will always be with you and watching over you now and would want you to heal please take care of you.
     
  3. xobookwormxo

    xobookwormxo Member

    i went to therapyy and it made it worse
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes it will get worse for awhile until you deal with it all it does get worse before it gets better that is why one has to keep going okay your therapist needs to know when you are feeling worse so can help you cope thru those times. It was working you just did not finish it right through. try again okay with a t that deals with trauma okay