My life is a state of chronic. Chronic illness: lupus and fibro. Chronic depression. Chronic anxiety. The only thing that's not chronic is health and happiness.
My fiance helps a lot. Sometimes it is hard for me to admit because relying on another human being so much is terrifying but it's true.
Through my moodiness and my pain and my unsolicited crying, he is there. To offer even the simplest of solutions that honestly had never occurred to me. Your eyes are stinging and burning? Here let me order you an eye mask that switches from hot to cold. Will it cure the symptom? No. But it will lessen the effect.
And more examples like this. He will encourage me, make me feel brave, ambitious, talented and anyone with a chronic condition knows how much it alters all of these traits. How much you feel like sludge so much of the time. Who the hell has this ability? He does it so seamlessly... as if it's not even in question. As if it was always true all along & hes just the messenger.
Art, music, books have kept me going and lately stand up comedy. What a relief from the constant drudgery of shit.
food... not in an obvious yeah we need food to survive way but in ...huh... this makes life at least 15% worth living.
determination and moments of relief... moments.
pain killers. Lots of pain killers.
And yes... coming from the little voice that is rarely ever heard, inner strength.