My life sucks

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LJ89, Dec 17, 2012.

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  1. LJ89

    LJ89 New Member

    My life sucks and I can't stand being here. I hate being overweight and fat and the fact that I have no friends. I hate how I was born with this irreversible anger problem and I just can't seem to get over myself. My boyfriend has sex with me, but sometimes I think that is all he cares to do with me. I am so sick of not fitting in anywhere I go. I've been dropping out of school most of my life, I mean, I did get my diploma, but I switched schools all the time because I can't seem to get a long with people. Sometimes I get close to someone and then they just back away. And it hurts like Hell. I can't stand being alone, yet I can't stand being together. Nobody seems to understand me, not even my own boyfriend. The question is do I understand myself. Because when you are tossed around like a hot bag of bricks your whole life, life just doesn't seem as interesting as one would might think. My life sucks. It had from day one. Day one I left the womb and cried profusely. People don't get me, no one ever has, then they slap labels on my back saying I'm manic depressive or "young"...can't get enough of that one...I'm this that and the other...Please. I may not know everything about myself but I know this much I know I'm not some stupid statistic. Sure, I take medicine, and maybe it helps, but ultimately, it made me fat. I used to be 115 now I am over a hundred pounds overweight. I've always been slightly pudgy never "skinny" even though people used to call me skinny. When I was small I was slightly pudgy, I fit into petite clothing but I still had a layer of pudge around the stomach very much unlike the hot girls at my school. Anyways. I feel like crap. I feel like I am trapped in an unhealthy body and forever cursed with an unhealthy mind. P.S. I am not exactly ugly, I have dated a lot of men, but I am very overweight as of right now and I feel like shit most of the time because I HAVE ZERO FRIENDS. And I am only 23. Imagine having NO friends. NONE. It sucks so hardcore when you're a needy person like myself. And it is soooooo hard to keep friends. Most people think I'm just a bitch and they never want to talk to me. I wish people could see me as a nice, intelligent, sweet, sophisticated, artistic person but NO. All the other sexier prettier girls get married and have babies. I am probably never going to get married and have babies. And it pisses me off. Somebody please help me before I shoot myself someday. End.:tiger::lol!::pinkrose:
     
  2. J3nny

    J3nny Well-Known Member

    well ur not alone,ive been left with 0 friends and my life sucks too
     
  3. You aren't alone. I have no friends, family is indifferent. I have social anxiety disorder, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and they say I have delusions of persecution (believe me they aren't delusions!). I believe there isn't a med made that helps with any "psychiatric" disorder. The side effects are terrible and dangerous, and they don't work over half the time. I believe therapy is what most people who are hurting need, but most don't get it.

    I wish I could make it better for you. These forums help a little, knowing you aren't alone, but face to face contact with someone who knows what you're going through and is empathetic to your pain would be more helpful for us.
     
  4. LJ89

    LJ89 New Member

    Hi takemylife, I'm glad you responded because at first I wasn't sure if anyone would reach out and respond. I like to get things from other people's perspectives, I'm glad you said you are not alone, and hearing it from a guy's point of view (which I assume you are by your name, maybe not, IDK) helps me even more because I like to hear things from a different point of view. And I know it wasn't much, but it was the very first reply I've read and it's good to hear that someone else relates even if what the other person is relating to REALLY sucks. So yeah, I don't really have any friends, a lot of people aren't very patient with me and that is why I am on here trying to get support. Because I don't want to get back to the point of cutting again, or something...
     
  5. LJ89

    LJ89 New Member

    Hi whatsthepoint1, thank you for your words. It sounds like you responded with a lot of feedback and I appreciate that. Sometimes I get on sites like these and don't get feedback for days. And that's not very helpful if you need answers right away. I appreciate your concern and the way you said you relate to me. Thanks for saying you wish you could make it better for me. And your right about therapists, but I haven't had too much result with therapists in the past, I sorta feel like I am just talking to someone who gets paid, even though I might have felt close to them in the past I still feel that way. So anyways, I appreciate your reply, and I hope you get whatever you need figured out on this site.
     
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