My life you may find it interesting.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by blueburn, Jun 20, 2009.

  1. blueburn

    blueburn Member

    Okay so im 20 years old and in the past 3 years my Mum died of cancer, My uncle died of a myocardial infarction (Heart attack), My gran died of of falling over in a home, Not sure how she died, Then another gran died(Wasn't told how), Much loved family dog was put to sleep but she was an amazing age of 18.

    I also need to take blood tests soon to test to see if i have a faulty gene witch increases my risk to bowel cancer.

    Im pretty much closed of now my sister whos 11 gets angry easy and so does my dad, But i don't; my family wonder how I have not shown no emotion and stayed strong.

    All of this has casued me to become a cold hearted person. But one thing has come out of this and ive decided to try and become a Doctor. Ive shadowed doctor's, ive seen post-mortems(I didn't even flinch or feel sick during that it was weird),Angiograms, a laproscopic cholecystectomy and a hip replacement. And soon changing my job from hospital carpenter to clinical support worker.

    My eyelids twich all the time(blepherospasms) and I sometimes have strange outburts involving me throw something or slam my fist down. Ive talked to nobody about this, I feel like jack bauer's and the current day james bond emotions lol.

    I just needed to write all this down here.
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. We are here to listen and some of us will offer advice or suggestions but considering what you've been through, I think it is important that you seek some professional counseling. Your emotion center can't help but be at least partially shut down due to all of the horrible things you've witnessed at such young age and the outbursts may be a natural reaction to them. But I think you could use some professional assistance in working through some of this.