Okay so im 20 years old and in the past 3 years my Mum died of cancer, My uncle died of a myocardial infarction (Heart attack), My gran died of of falling over in a home, Not sure how she died, Then another gran died(Wasn't told how), Much loved family dog was put to sleep but she was an amazing age of 18. I also need to take blood tests soon to test to see if i have a faulty gene witch increases my risk to bowel cancer. Im pretty much closed of now my sister whos 11 gets angry easy and so does my dad, But i don't; my family wonder how I have not shown no emotion and stayed strong. All of this has casued me to become a cold hearted person. But one thing has come out of this and ive decided to try and become a Doctor. Ive shadowed doctor's, ive seen post-mortems(I didn't even flinch or feel sick during that it was weird),Angiograms, a laproscopic cholecystectomy and a hip replacement. And soon changing my job from hospital carpenter to clinical support worker. My eyelids twich all the time(blepherospasms) and I sometimes have strange outburts involving me throw something or slam my fist down. Ive talked to nobody about this, I feel like jack bauer's and the current day james bond emotions lol. I just needed to write all this down here.