my life

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by mal, Feb 16, 2007.

  1. mal

    mal Member

    im so bipolar i find it hard to post here without my train of thought changing swinging in some other other direction making me feel what ive wrote to be stupid.
    currently im thinking about my dad. like any other boy he was superman when i was a kid. he taught me how to draw and its the only good thing i can remember any of my parents ever teaching me. he left my life when i was somewhere around 5 for both him and my mom didnt belong together and were both addicted to meth or some hardcore drugs. i understand why he would my mom but did he have to leave me alone for so long? a boy needs a dad not some closeted fuckin rapest raising him. now hes back in my life and i cant connect i kno he feels so sorry for leaving me and trys everything he can to make me happy. hes a great person and now his little brothers dying whom we saw on thanksgiving. after they left he was crying and it was such a painful thing to watch at not kno what to say. im so emotionally numb and when he calls i put on my fake front that my mom is so bling to but we both no im not kidding anybody. hes a truck driver now and is making more money then he has in his life but it all goes to fuckin govt for backed child support. i dont kno where im going with this so ill stop but im lost in life and it feels good to write my thoughts.

    just a part of this screwed up life i lead
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome Mal. Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time, but you will mkae good friends here and we will all offer you an ear.