My life

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Painttheskyred, Mar 20, 2007.

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  1. Painttheskyred

    Painttheskyred Well-Known Member

    Ok i only gave a breif description as to why im here ..... here is the full version.

    The day i go into my dads van on the day i finshed school i didnt think it would lead me to where i am now stuck in a b&b with nofing but my own haunting mermorys . But that comes later. I got in the van after after school and asked my dad whats wrong and before i got another chance to speak i said its mm aint it and i said you have been fighting and argueing again aint you he said no we are breaking up. MY LIFE FLASED BEFORE MY EYES. I couldnt belive what i was hearing untill i thought about my sisters i said f*** it i wont show any emotion . Its up to me to be strong for them . so i didt i clogged it all up not knoing it was eating away at me from the inside. I kept thing from one min to the next whos going to be there when i get home form schoo. Only to find my dads at work and my mums on her fu*king laptop talking to the men who shes playing on fucking. she would get in about and tell me about it all , who shes had what she did
    . I would clearly try to ignore her but thats a little hard because shes my mum i not blaming all my faults on my mum. My dad played his role to by being the 20 stone fuc**** c*** he was he would just eat and eat mc donalds was his his 2nd home anyway back to the story. both of them where so blind to see what was going on in my head anytime i tryed talking i was always wrong and the only way i could get there attetion would be to slash a hole in my wrists . Thats pretty messed up if thats the way i got to get throught to my parents. My grades in school where F, F , F i mean i was a D, C , STUDENT just before all this shit happened. My mum blamed it on people i hung around with i know what im doing for fuck sake i aint a bitch who blames here mistakes on other people. I mean i have heard of DENILE BUT SHE KNOWS ITS HER FAULT. After all this my dad said we will now spend time together as a family and do more things together , DID WE, err noooooooo!!!! He did what that slapper did went on the computer looking for someone to bang!!! . BUT now we meet satan herself the bicth that got me here in the 1st place my dad met someone else i thought she was lovly at first untill she relised i cut myself , you know i even tryed to stop for her she wasnt having it , then it sounded like her and her son JOSH << SON OF THE DEVIL... desided to tell here a load of shit like i was taking the piss out of his mum and i swear all the time ^^^^ I DO NOW ASS****. Then i met my mums so called bf the mans a c*** hes a acholic and speaking of achol he grabber me by the throat once and stranglled me because my mum thought i was going to self-harm... I dnt hate my life i just think i dnt deserve half of whats happend to me bu here i am feeling sorry for myself . Ive got to move on i really really have to .


    I wrote this last october its how i feel everyday of my life. Im sorry for the swearing.

  2. feelmypain

    feelmypain Well-Known Member

    :hug: :arms: you are absolutely right, you didn't deserve it, and keeping all this inside does tend to explode one time...i hope you feel better, just remember you can make it
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    True, true, true.

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