Has been going on quite smoothly, however, I don't understand each time when I am standing at the traffic junction; I saw cars passing pass me in high speed. I felt a sudden urge to move one step forward. I was nearly hit once, I was lucky that the driver was alert enough to notice me. I know I am not looking for thrills. I even dreamt of many different ways of suicide. I really don't know what is wrong with me. What makes it worst, I could not remember the recent events that had happened to my life, I was not convince by the people whom had told me what had happened. I felt like they were all fabricating a lie.