My life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MOL, Jun 19, 2009.

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  1. MOL

    MOL New Member

    First of all, I'd like to thank everyone in this forum. Realizing I'm not alone is very good to my mental health or, shall I say, emotional health. I'm 17, but I'm pretty sure of what I want to do with my life- end it. Three years ago, I "suffered" a spine surgery. It was a high risk surgery who left me completely devastated- should a 14 years old deal with a deformed body? It's too much for a teenager. Any teenager. My social life is bad to say the least. I try to compensate that by having good marks- but even that is failing. I have nothing. Nothing. I always feel deeply sad, immensely sad. I go to school and I spend the lessons thinking about sad events of my life or blaming myself for things I did (or didn't do). I go to the bathrooms, during the break, and I cry compulsively. I have the impression that everyone thinks I'm dumb whenever I'm talking. My confidence is at the bottom. My life will always be like this. I have no capacities whatsoever to face life.

    What should I do?
  2. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Welcome to Suicide Forum! Hope you keep on posting here. Obviously you have had a rough few years. The teenage years are hard enough without physical problems on top. Take care and stay safe
  3. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hi mol. sorry ur feeling like this. uv been through alot. :hug:
    have u tried talking 2 anyone around u about how ur feeling? x
  4. MOL

    MOL New Member

    Hi!:biggrin: I have already talked with relatives but no one seems to understand my pain...
  5. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    sorry they dont understand.i know how fustrating it family dont undrstand either because they hav never felt like we do.
    just a suggestion- but mabye there is a teacher at ur school u could tell?
    there are lots of ppl here that will try 2 help u. :hug:
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. I'm glad that you have already found this site helpful. Do you feel up to talking about how the surgery has affected you physically? If not, it is quite understandable, but there are man people here suffering from a wide variety of physical issues as well as emotional and psychological.

    It took a great deal of courage to come to this site and begin talking about it.

    Also, the older you get the more accepting and less cruel your peers will be. We are here to listen and/or give advice if you wish. There are many caring and wonderful people here who can provide insight into a variety of issues.

    Feel free to send me a private message if you are more comfortable with a private conversation.

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