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  1. This summer, all I have done is sit in my room. Sit and cry, scream and yell, get violent. I've also been drinking a lot more as well. I just sit staring at the computer screen or just out the window. This has been my life since may. I'm single, I'm fat, and I have no idea what direction to go in with my music. The one thing that keeps me going. I just feel lost, and I want nothing more than to just die. My life is so upside down right now. It doesn't help that I just stopped taking my Lexapro weeks ago either. But whatever. I have no idea why I should live anymore. When I play music, I sometime feel nothing. I have no passion for anything in life. I just, don't know what it's like to feel euphoric. I can't remember the last time I felt that adrenal rush of excitement and happiness. I just don't know. On top of that, I feel a great deal of shame and guilt. I just don't know what to do...
  2. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    hey hun :hug: i'm sorry things aren't good for you right now but they can get better :smile:
    why did you stop taking your meds? you could feel so much better if you did, and that could help you in getting your life back on track and your music too for that matter :arms:
    if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm always here :heart:
    triggs xx
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey my daughter loves music too and i saw how she lost all interest in it her art everything. You really should go back on medication please call your doctor and talk with him or her. If you want control back you need to get back on the meds your mind can be yours again. Alcohol yes a coping mechanism but a poor one as it is a depressant as well so this is only adding to your problems. Take the first step and get help for yourself call your dr get back on your medication get off the alcohol then when your feeling better mentally you can start working on the physical you. Join a gym go for walks swimming is great get out and start enjoying life again. You can do this take first step get back on your meds okay.. Keep us updated so we know how you are keep talking to us okay
  4. Pain

    Pain New Member

    I dont really know the kind of pain your going through it might be worse or less than mine. I used to love to play music too, now with suicidal thoughts bc of problems I don't think I'll enjoy playing anymore, there is just this feeling that I shouldn't be playing bc playing suggests I'm happy and complete without problems. I cry for the days of euphoric happiness I once had when I used to play as I'm sure you do too if you ever really expirienced them, I think I did. I'm not trying to undermine your pain, but from my point of view it looks like you'll expeience those moments again. I'm not really sure if I'll ever do, but there's still this little hope inside me that someday I will, vey little. , almost close to nothing (hence my suicidal thoughts), but is still there(hence I'm alive and typing this). I hope my post gives rise to that lil hope to you, I know I don't fully understand your pain but I understand a lil bc I'm in the same boat. Suicide is your choice man, not here to convince you not to do it, but I hope my post helps a
  5. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I was in a similar place to you before, barely went out anywhere & lost interest in pretty much everything. Although I'm still struggling with both, going to the gym helped me a lot. Exercise chemicals, boosted self esteem, etc. etc. Even going for a run once or twice a week would be better than nothing. You have the ability to turn your life around, just need to figure out what works for you. Feel free to PM.
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