Hi everyone. I'm new here. Anyways, my life hasnt been too great recently. Today, my dad screamed at me and said he wishes I was never born. My grades are falling and my mom thinks my brother is way better than me. Some nights, I stay awake with my stuffed dog, the only thing that really understands me. I'm in high school right now, and everyone has started treating me badly and nobody really likes me and they all think I'm creepy. I do embarrassing and dumb things for attention. My parents are about to get divorced over me. I've had suicidal thoughts for around 4 years, but it has never gotten this bad. I really would like to join the military when I'm older, but that's because I want to die helping others, not in vain. Most of the people in my school hate me, and nobody understands me. I just want it all to end. I feel disgusting and gross, and unwanted in this world. The only thing that's stopping me is the fear of the unknown. I was never baptized, but grew up near Christians, but never get answers from God. I hate this life.