My little rant...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by just dont care, Nov 8, 2011.

  1. just dont care

    just dont care Well-Known Member

    I have been on and off this site for a few years now. I can always say that coming on here helps a lot and its not till i am feeling like i am about to break do i show up here. I have been dealing with my depression and my suicidal thoughts for a long time now. Even tried killing myself a few times. I tried going to a therapist once and they paid no attention to anything i had to say so i never went back. I am not on any medication either. I have learned that these feelings and thoughts i have will never go away. it is a constant struggle everyday. I have the thoughts of suicide every day just thinking about how easy it would be to kill myself. I go into places hoping that there is some type of robery and how nice it would be if they killed me. These thoughts never go away and sometimes its just too much to handle and i go crazy. I am constantly bringing myself down telling myself i cant do it, that i am failure, that no one wants me around. I hate being this way. Why is it me that is like this? Why cant i express myself freely? Why do i feel the need to hide all my feeling from everyone? Why am i so worried what everyone thinks? Why cant i really be like the happy person that is the mask i show people? I hate this...
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so glad you do come here when you need support. It is so difficult to express who we are especially when we do not feel good about ourselves. I am sure the great majority of people here experience that. I have found that if I disclose who I am in small doses, it is less there one person who you trust that you can practice telling him/her about yourself? Like all other skills, the ability to be more genuine needs to be practiced.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you can talk here people care and listen and understand I do hope you try a new therapist okay one that will listen there are great therapist out there who can help change those negative thoughts hun hugs to you