i only saw my mother mother. i have a pretty good relationship with her, though, so i guess it was okay. but i'm just plagued with the thought of how pathetic i am, that i haven't seen anyone or done anything. and i don't really want to, either, other than to keep up this illusion that i'm sociable enough. i always feel the damn pressures of my peers, to constantly be in contact with others and hanging out with people. at the same time, i feel excluded a lot of the time, because a good lot of my friends that go to my school live in a neighborhood that is a drive away. and i don't know, i'm just not invited to stuff every weekend. i'm awkward, and i don't know. i see everyone all over facebook, constantly having friends and jokes. i guess i resent that, but i'm also feeling lonely. i'm so stupid, i don't have enough confidence to "fuck the rest" and disregard the happenings of others. nor do i have the guts to really initiate things with people. someone please give me a guide on how to survive being a teenager.