My longest, best-ever friend may have died

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by ToHelp, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    He had spina bifida and wheelchair bound all his life. I dare not share his name on here, though the urge is near irresistable.

    See, I could be wrong. He have just... have moved or something. Yet I am weeping as I write this because so many clues point to him having passed. No phone-call in months. And we once ...

    We once used to call each other every single day, several times times a day. Funny that I know him from ...

    That time I knew him from gradeschool. I guess it's been 30 years now that we go back (and so since around age 12).

    The funny part is, it wasn't 'til we hit our adulthood (19, 21) that we really, really grew to know and love each other as closest of buddies.

    And now I am left no one. Goddamn, I've... (lol)

    I've out-lived.... hell, four or five I guess of my classmates from early youth already--and I'm the one with a serious heart-condition (well, moderately enlarged with ASD).

    I really, really, really need a vital connection, just someone to talk with and befriend over the phone is vital to me.

    Oh J__. I miss you deeply with a heart that pines for the summers of our youth. I need you so badly now. Was never ever to connect with a woman (neither of us were--though are both definitely hetero).

    Though miss him, I cannot actively begin to grieve or start to puzzle over 'why' until I find out whether he has done died on me. I really don't want to find this out.

  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm sorry to hear about your friend John. :hug:
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope he's not died, have you an address, a phone number?
    If you don't find it out it will plague you and if he has died you can grieve and move on. :hug:
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Im so sorry for your loss :hug:
  5. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    :sad: Yeah i got his cell phone #. Same outgoing message now for... i guess a couple months now.

    I mean always we have our sprapes and drawn-out fights but shit, this is just too long for any other explanation. Sure we would get tired of each other but when u boiled it out down there was nothin' but love. A very matured love.

    Ok look he was in uh... a, some sort half-way house/nursing care facility and I could start calling around, so I'll do that.

    Quick rundown on this birth defect for everyone: People often die early because you can get remarkably hard-to-treat sores on your bottom if you don't take care to be *meticulously* clean - cuz i mean, just think about it.

    It's not rocket science: You're always on your buttocks.

    The danger is infection and that's really what's plagued him all his life.

    So these sores, once infected right - after so lo many years, treated with many different antiobitcs, become resistant.

    That's bad. That's potentially your death looking at you. He knew that but was lacks on self-care. Goddamnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Look I'm not highly trained in medicine. Duh. But if you get certain bloodborne pathogens baby, you die of that shit.

    Anyway i think i'll break out the phonebook :sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 5, 2008