My Loved One Is Probably Borderline

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by aoeu, Nov 7, 2008.

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  1. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Title says it all. I finally found out the "mental disorder" her grandmother has which she thinks trickled down to her - and it's BPD. I looked it up, and it matches her perfectly. The really, really weird relationships, mood swings, self-image swings...

    I want to take care of her. What would the plan be for this?
  2. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    Step1 - Educate yourself about what borderline personality is. Understand her anger outbursts aren't about you. BPD Central is a reputable Internet site that has information and links about the disorder

    Step2 - Practice empathy with your partner. Imagine what she's feeling when she behaves badly. Understand her distress and fear.

    Step3 - Be patient at all times. When her opinion of you swings from good to bad, let her carry on until the episode is over. Recognize her impulsive behavior is beyond her control and let it run its course.

    Step4 - Create a stable environment. Follow routines and take care to prepare her for changes when possible. Reschedule business trips and day-long outings until she's worked through her separation issues in therapy.

    Step5 - Help her get support. BPD Central has message boards both for her and for you. Search for local groups. Suggest that she start one if you can't find one in your area.

    Step6 - Encourage her to get help. Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) was developed specifically to treat borderline personality disorder. The technique helps sufferers deal with their intense emotional swings.

    Step7 - Ask her doctor or therapist about medications such as a mood stabilizers, antipsychotics or antidepressants. They should, however, be used along with therapy.

    Hope this helps


    (From -
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Got a massive, unexpected break: her dad independently suggested she get counselling.

    Previously I wondered how on earth we were going to afford it. Now we can use his health insurance!

    Also, creating a stable environment was something I wanted to do, but [she lives with him] I wasn't really able to do. Now, hopefully, he'll make his house pleasant. :)

    I'm talking to my psychiatrist and psychologist when I get a chance to try to get a recommendation of a counsellor. She doesn't think she has BPD, but she acknowledges that she at least has tendencies [and it runs in her family], so I'm supposing a BPD specialist would be most appropriate.

    My biggest problem with all this is that when she's unhappy with me, she doesn't talk to me at all, and there's nothing I can do about that.
  4. Erratic

    Erratic Active Member

    When she shuts you out, all you can do is tell her repeatedly that you're there for her, and will listen if she wants to talk. She may not open up immediately, but I can tell you, it means a ton to me when I'm in that mood to have someone that I can rely on for those rare moments when I do chose to talk.
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