My loved ones aren't loving

What hurts the most sometimes, is the fact that my family is oblivious. In the past when I've been down or depressed, I didn't know how to communicate it to them so I would lash out or separate myself. My siblings would always talk about me and say I was crazy. Then they would disregard me. So now that I'm older, I don't tell them anything... but I want to. I need to... but I keep thinking they'll handle it the same way they handled my feelings before.
My friends don't try and reach out. They know I've had suicidal thoughts and behavior... And they haven't said anything else. They don't text or call and when they see me, they carry on like normal. I'm usually a private person, and in the past when they would ask how I was, I would change the subject or lie. But they've known me for years. And if I stepped out of my comfort zone to tell them something so serious, I would have expected them to be there. Especially since I'm ALWAYS there for them. I know everyone doesn't love the same, and they don't handle situations the same... but any effort would have meant something...
Now I'm stuck with those feelings of "see? no one cares."

 

Not So! I know that it seems no one cares, and some don't, some would like to but are afraid of commitment! Some are afraid some thing will happen, they act like it's a contagious disease I am sorry that you are feeling that now! I use to have friends, so I thought some even close, again I thought, Some really and truly do care but they do not understand, the only time most people understand is when it happens to them! That is why we are truly Isolated We are Afraid an They are Afraid, this dam fear thing is contagious more they any condition we have we live so much of our lives in FEAR! Well you an me and others like us are here, spending our lives with others like us, but we are still ready and willing to help them should they ever need help! It's Sad more then funny that Us more then "The so called normal people" are the ones that can truly see things clearly! I was crying really hard from something I just did and said on here, I was leaving the post when I saw you or rather your post, an I stopped and came in, That is what I do here, try and help others, I care!
I know that you do as well, you have feelings it's funny the things the So Called Normals never see but we do because we can identify with it, we recognize it for what it is! We feel it daily, is there anything I can do to help??

 

Your message itself definitely helped.
Sometimes people feel like we should be more open and "If you really needed help, you should have said something" or "how can she expect people to know, I'm not a mind reader"... but it's hard to be open on my part. And my circle of people know this. I show them when I'm hurting, I don't know how to verbalize it. And yet, they still don't try.
But this site helps. Thank you for taking the time to acknowledge me. Sometimes you just need someone.