My manager

#1
(TW: SA?)
So, lets talk about my manager. I work at an event venue doing bar work. I was friends with my manager who is a few years older (27/28 im 21) for quite a few months, and bonded over weed. In this time, early on his girlfriend had to leave to go to another country as her dad had/has? cancer. He subsequently couldnt afford the rent n spent most of his money on drugs instead of food. I cooked for him n lent him weed a few times, which at the time was fine because he was a good friend and i cared deeply. During this time i also broke up with my boy friend because i thought i was more lesbian than i realised before. So it was 'safe' for my manager to chill with me. Then my manager has a 3 day bender party around halloween or smth and I end up taking mandy n abunch of stuff because im easily influenced. And anyway we sat in the same bean bag n after his mate fell asleep he started kinda lightly grazing n touching the side of my breast n yeah idk the drugs didnt put me in a good frame of mind so i just kinda went along with it as i have with like 3 or 4 other guy "best" friends i had. I said after "that was funny" n he said "i wanted to sleep with you for a long time" so that just kinda shows you. I never said no but just felt like i had to go along with it. Anyway his gf came back to the country as she found out and then he didnt tell her everythign n then she found out more which triggered my manager to say a bunch of horrible stuff (i heard through the gf's friend) about me being a "whore" and bad at sex, nevermind the violent things he said he'd do to my friend (another employee). Honestly i feel like he took the opportunity when he could. It did happen again a couple days after the first time but again i was fucked n wanted free drugs. So now my manager is back with his gf. I've stopped greeting him or talking to him in the same friendly way where i kinda saw him as a big brother, which feels weird as fuck to say now. But yday i had a moment at work n had to sit in staff room because my brain shut down (prob due to exam stress n being put as bar supervisor the day before without training) and he got annoyed when i asked to be the next to go after he just sent 4 people home and he knew i was having a shit time. So he lets me off n i stay for a drink because i need to drink the anxiety away and felt unsafe going home as i had self harmed in the shift but didnt tell anyone. He then tells my mate still on shift that he hates it when people who are ill ask to leave early and then stay to drink - first of all i wasnt ill, never said i was - second of all he was the one who went home the day before because he wanted to hang out with his gf so i got left with everything. Then later i go to get my coat and bag and he says 'oh someones feeling better' like wtf. Just the whole thing is another guy only being my friend cause they wanna fuck me, i just feel so worthless and angry and upset. I have final year exams atm and trying to revise is basically sending me over the edge, i cant deal with this shit any longer.
 
#3
Hey there - sorry to hear about this. *console *hug Is there maybe a counsellor through your school you could talk to about this? Your manager sounds predatory and obviously predators look to take advantage of people who are more drunk or high than them, and vulnerable. He obviously has a double standard to be calling you a "whore" and I worry you are not safe around him. Idk if it's possible for you to get a different job or manager? Anyway maybe a counsellor could help you with school stress and the sh as well.
 
#4
Hey there - sorry to hear about this. *console *hug Is there maybe a counsellor through your school you could talk to about this? Your manager sounds predatory and obviously predators look to take advantage of people who are more drunk or high than them, and vulnerable. He obviously has a double standard to be calling you a "whore" and I worry you are not safe around him. Idk if it's possible for you to get a different job or manager? Anyway maybe a counsellor could help you with school stress and the sh as well.
yeah i have counselling through the university im at, so thats good. I've told some people i trust at work but none of the managers. Hoping to have a chat with my coworker who he also said stuff about to see if we can do anything. but its a very tight knit team so its hard to avoid him. I would've left the job but i need the money and love so many other people there.
 
#11
Just the whole thing is another guy only being my friend cause they wanna fuck me, i just feel so worthless and angry and upset.
I'm sorry that this happened. It's not your fault, I think it's just that there are a lot of men who will pretend to want to be friends, when in fact they are only wanna-be sex partners. This guy is a scum bag and the only one who is to blame.
 

Lane Lu

Active Member
#16
good to hear that ass was fired. my manager is a good lady. I like her working skills but also I am afraid of her. The only person I am afraid in my city. I think you will meet new collegues and get happy
 

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