My mind is just going to explode

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Keiran, Nov 29, 2010.

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  1. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    I HAVE to tell someone about my feelings, my thoughts, my whole suicidal self. But the only person I have to tell is my parents. And I just can't do it. I can't just go up to them and tell them all about it.

    The only person I have ever told is my friend. The one friend I do have. I told her and she talks me out of these suicidal thoughts, but the thoughts...they just come back.

    Should I just like...write a note? Or send it in an email or something?

    All I know is I just need all the weight in my life lifted off my shoulders so I can just relax for once, and that ain't gonna happen unless I tell someone and get help.
     
  2. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    It is fantastic that you have realised that you need help. . . such an amazing step.
    A letter maybe explaining how you feel would be really good, it is really hard to make that initial; i feel like this . . .
    Also you should try to get some formal help from the doctors, maybe take the note along too so that it is easier for you once again and maybe they can put some more support networks in place.
    Writing a letter could also clarify your thoughts seeing them written down. . . this is such a positive step, well done :hug:
     
  3. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    Well what should I say? Should I just tell them everything? Or just say the basics and go from there?

    And yea after that I'd be telling them that I need to see a doctor about it.
     
  4. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    Hmm maybe do it in time order so when you started feeling down; if you know what may have caused it then mention it, then go on to how your feelings have developed.
    And maybe any thoughts you have on it too. . .
    Try to keep as focused as you can when you write it, just so that you don't miss anything out; it is very emotional so just try hun, you can do this.
    The more people know, the more they can help you feel strong again :)
     
  5. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    How I did it was I explained the night I had to them in a letter - the night that made me decide to tell. I walked into their room when they woke up one weekend, dropped the letter on the bed and walked away and holed up in my room. It was so awkward and hard but by dissociating - making it the paper speak and holding up so I didn't have to see them but they could know I was there and OK - but it worked.
     
  6. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    Well...I'll probably just email it from my phone so I can do it while I'm at school tomorrow and give time for my mom to see it while she's at work and think about it and whatnot until she gets home. Maybe she will reply, but probably not. Im not completely sure she checks her email at work but I know she gets it on her phone so she will probably look at it at some point during the day.

    Didn't see your post Lovecraft until after I posted this, so just wondering, what was your parents reaction?
     
  7. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    Ok hun, make sure you want to know what you want to write,
    I hope it goes well, keep us updated :)
    :hug:
     
  8. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    Not exactly sure what you meant, but will keep you updated. Hopefully I can get myself to send it, cause that will probably be the hardest part.
     
  9. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    Sorry i meant that make sure you don't rush it so that you have written all the hardest stuff down so you don't feel forced to verbalise it incase you forget on the message.
    You can send it, you want her to know and it will make you feel better: it is horrible trying to keep up a pretense, you need to do it so that you can act like who you are and how you feel, not what you think everyone else wants to see.
    You can do it :)
    :hug:
     
  10. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    That is so true because I come off as a completely different person. I pretty sure some people think I'm like always really happy. I mean yea I have my laughs and all but deep down...well, I'm on a suicide forum. That explains it right there.
     
  11. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    exactly :)
    Well good luck, keep posting. . .
    We are here for you
    If you want me, pm,
    :hug:
     
  12. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    Well I may shoot you a pm tomorrow when I'm getting ready to send it or whatever. As for now, it's 2:51 AM and I have to get up for school at 6:15. After I made this thread I planned to go to bed which was like 1 AM an then I couldn't fall asleep so here I am...10 min later it felt like and its actually 2 hours later.
     
  13. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    that is completely fine, it is 8 am here so i've got a lecture in a bit. So will be around later. Good luck,
    sleep well hun
    xXx
     
  14. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    I am so close... All I have to do is hit send... Idk if I can do it....
     
  15. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    send it, you will feel so much better not being alone in this world of depression, let them know.

    Good Luck!!!!!!
     
  16. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    I still have yet to send it.

    My plan was to write it on my way to school and during my first period and then send it. It ended up I wasn't able to finish till my 5th period(The periods between those I was unable to do any part of it, thats why it took so long). I added a couple things in 6th and 7th, but still hadn't sent it. 8th I did nothing but try to get myself to send it and I couldn't.

    I'm home now, and mom doesn't get home for about 2 hours. I don't know why I'm holding back. I just need to hit send.
     
  17. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    Well I can't believe it but I just sent it. No reply yet, but will keep you guys updated.
     
  18. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    wow you are very brave. congrats on sending the message. let us know what happens next.
     
  19. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    Hey,
    sorry for the delay in replying; wow, well done.
    That must have been so difficult for you, but so pleased that you managed it :)
    :hug: for you,
    xXx
     
  20. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Even though it may not feel like it now, youve made such a huge step to making yourself better. I wish you all the luck.

    Let us know how it goes.
     
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