When I'm manic or 'high', I feel like nothing can touch me, I end up having hypersexualty, I start saying and doing things that I would not do...and this has caused me some legal issues. I start talking and talking and talking, I become restless, I just want to go and go and go, I end up spending money for no reason whatsoever....and this has caused me financial issues... When I become depressed, I do not want to work. My mind races with so many thoughts I just can not keep up with them. I end up crying, I start to worry over EVERYTHING, I start thinking of past events, and worry about future events. I start having thoughts of suicide, and I can not sleep at night. I was put on Depakote and Lexapro, but since I do not have health insurance right now, I've already gone through another manic cycle, and depression. It's like a roller coaster. Right now I'm in a depressed mood. My mind is so hard to control. Sometimes I wish they would just lock me up in a ward, feed me my three meals a day, medicate me, and help my brain with the havoc it's causing my life. I know my pdoc says I'm Bi-Polar, but could it be more than just that? Is Bi-Polar a disease of the brain, or just a mental illness?