My mind

[neutral]

Hi there,

My mind is a little messed up. I have been having thoughts of suicide for awhile but recently they have crept into my thoughts through out the day. I have little emotion towards anything and have been getting brief flashes of images (at random) when I talk to people about anything.

Over the last couple of weeks I have started to think about a plan of suicide, what would be the most effective method, the right time to do it and sorting out a small will to cover any legal issue my death will cause.

My body feels like it going through physical stress but I feel nothing emotionally. My back aches, have a slight headache and feel tired.

I don't want to see a doctor and until this post (and a short talk on chat here) I've not shown any outward signs of what going in my head.

What should I do?

(I feel this is the best place to be, social situations can be stressful and confusing.)

 

[Shyfear]

Hey there,

Do you have any idea why you think about suicide often? I'm not an expert but it sounds like you have depression, which explains your physical pain, depression causes both and doesn't have to have a trigger. It would also explain why you are tired often. Do you have a hard time concentraiting on things? Do you find yourself distancing yourself away from others? Depression often causes suicidal thoughts because the brain has an inbalance of chemicals, such as serotonin and neuropinephrine. And many anti-depressents alter the levels of these chemicals to make you feel better. Granted, they do not always work.

A lot of people try to push through the depression without the help of medication (me being one of them) because it doesn't work on everyone, and it usually takes 3-4 weeks to have an effect. I do recommend that you give it a shot if you are up for it though, if it doesn't work within a few weeks you can always stop or try a different brand. Your doctor will usually have weekly check-ups to see if you are getting better.

Is there something else bothering you? Perhaps something did trigger depression, or maybe it isn't depression at all?

If you need to get things off of your chest this is the right place. I'll always listen to you! :smile:

I love you. I hope you are doing okay.

 

[Beret]

Please go and see a doc
:hug:

 

[Rukia]

:agreed: You need to get help before it gets to far. :hug:

 

[neutral]

Thank you for your posts.

I would find it easer to kill my self then go to the doctor and speak about my thoughts. I don't want to get put away for something I haven't done yet. (Yes I know this is a bit paranoid but it is plausible)

I don't want to burden my family with this and have not got any very close friends to really talk face to face.

I have not bought what I need to go ahead yet. So I'm not in immediate danger.

 

[JustWatchMeChange]

Please see a professional. Find out what not to say so you won't be put away and don't say that, but the immediate danger sneaks up on you.

 

[Event_Horizon]

Don’t worry about them putting you away, it’s highly unlikely that will happen. By you going and asking for assistance it shows you have not entirely lost hope. Plus the cynic in me thinks they likely have no beds any way.

So be open honest and see what happens. Depression can sometimes be a symptom of a physical ailment so don’t get pawned off with medication get a physical work up done and rule out any possible biological causes before you step too deeply into being medicated. Even if you do become medicated be sure to request some form of therapy. The most positive outcome comes from a combination of both medication and talking therapies.

Besides if you are planning to die you got nothing to lose by at least trying professional help first. Death as always is going nowhere and I guarantee your death Will Burden your family so give professional help a shot first.

 

[neutral]

Well, I have spent most of this week thinking about death.

You guys have a point. I will see the doctor about my physical pain soon. (And decide whether I will tell him about what I think might be the cause)

I'm lost. I have no self pity or sadness. Death is the logical solution.