My mom died this afternoon

alice202

SF Supporter
#1
She was receiving hospice care since Saturday and I have been with her every day his week. This morning I was able to tell her I love her and thank her for being my mom. Although she was unable to speak, I could tell by her response that she heard me.

When she turned worse this afternoon they told me to call my sister and she came. We were caring for her with the nurse when mom died. I kept saying goodbye to mom with my tears for a while.

The nurse and my sister hugged each other. My sister did not hug me or say anything to me or come anywhere near my mom. She just started making phone calls. She hates me.

My mom was my only family. I am cut off from everyone else by my sister.

I am alone in a hotel room with my grief. I feel so alone I can't stand it.
 

Karmitkurmit

King of the Hedge
SF Supporter
#2
Hi Alice. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

I have no words that will comfort you right now, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone, at least not in thoughts. Put your sister aside for a moment and remember that you were there for your mum right to the end. She will have appreciated it even if she couldn't communicate it to you, as you recognised.

Grief is hard but necessary, don't let your sisters actions take it from you; I was held back from grieving many years ago and it has had long lasting effects on me. We're here for you okay? Let it out but stay safe. {{Hedgehugs}}
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#4
I am sorry your mother has left you. You were there for her and she loved you very much. I hope in time your sister will see what your mother would have wanted that you both be kind to each other. Please continue talking here ok we here you You are not alone ok Hugs to you
 

nobodyknows71

For a Phoenix to rise, it must first burn.
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
Hey there @alice202

I’m so sorry for you loss, to lose a parent is so tough. There are no words that I can say to make you feel any better, but time does make the pain less, or at least you learn how to cope with it better.
It sounds like you and you’re sister aren’t close, that’s a shame, but maybe now you could try to reconnect with here and others in your family, if that’s what you want.

I know it’s not much but I’m sending you hugs.

Keep your chin up, keep posting
 

Lifeisagift

Well-Known Member
#6
Hello Alice
My condoleances, I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you feel. Stay strong. You're not alone, you will never be. We can talk anytime.
Take care
 

LonelyHiker

Incidental aka FairWeather™
SF Supporter
#7
I am so sorry for your loss, Alice :( And I think it is horrible the way your sister is acting! Families need to be supportive of each other at times like this, not adversarial. :mad:

Shame on her

((((((Hugs))))))
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#8
She was receiving hospice care since Saturday and I have been with her every day his week. This morning I was able to tell her I love her and thank her for being my mom. Although she was unable to speak, I could tell by her response that she heard me.

When she turned worse this afternoon they told me to call my sister and she came. We were caring for her with the nurse when mom died. I kept saying goodbye to mom with my tears for a while.

The nurse and my sister hugged each other. My sister did not hug me or say anything to me or come anywhere near my mom. She just started making phone calls. She hates me.

My mom was my only family. I am cut off from everyone else by my sister.

I am alone in a hotel room with my grief. I feel so alone I can't stand it.
So sorry for your loss Alice. It is like being at the edge of the cliff when a parent dies. Felt like I was pushed up to the edge. No more generations before us. Doesn't help when your siblings alienate you. I went through the exact same thing with exception that I was not present when my mom passed. I was supposed to fly home in one week. She didn't make it. I struggle with that. Sibling locked me out of the house. Have not spoken to each other in 27 years. I was in my 20s when I lost both parents. I needed and still need support. I wish we could talk. You could talk. You shouldn't be alone now.
 

alice202

SF Supporter
#10
Thanks for the support people.

There is a chaplain working with the hospice who came by this morning. He talked to my mom and to me. He helped me say goodbye to her. He called me as soon as he heard that my mom died to offer comfort. I told him I could not face a burial with siblings who hate me. So I am going to meet him tomorrow morning and he will help me say goodbye to her, have our own service.

I am glad she knew that I loved her.

I am so glad I asked for the chaplain to come today, it worked out just right.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#13
Alice

So glad to hear the chaplain was supportive. God has sent an angel to you. I pray that your are surrounded by loving supportive angels.
 
#16
She was receiving hospice care since Saturday and I have been with her every day his week. This morning I was able to tell her I love her and thank her for being my mom. Although she was unable to speak, I could tell by her response that she heard me.

When she turned worse this afternoon they told me to call my sister and she came. We were caring for her with the nurse when mom died. I kept saying goodbye to mom with my tears for a while.

The nurse and my sister hugged each other. My sister did not hug me or say anything to me or come anywhere near my mom. She just started making phone calls. She hates me.

My mom was my only family. I am cut off from everyone else by my sister.

I am alone in a hotel room with my grief. I feel so alone I can't stand it.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I am happy that the chaplain spoke to you and your mom. Double happy that he is going to meet you one on one tomorrow. The hospice that cared for my grandmother offered a grief recovery group that met for 12 weeks after. It helped a lot
 

Deety

SF Supporter
#17
Hi Alice, I'm so sorry for your loss. I am glad the chaplain is meeting with you to have a farewell for your mother. I think this will be a cathartic service for you as you will hopefully feel safe to express yourself and receive comfort. Thinking of you... (((hugs)))
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#20
I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your mother. I wish that you weren't alone there to deal with that. Please just keep us on a string here - we're not the same as people there to give you a hug & comfort you but we do sincerely care & want to back you up. Best wishes.
 

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