My mom died last week from cardiac arrest. She had been sick and in a lot of pain from cancer surgery, so some of my relatives told me she was in a better place and at least out of her pain. But that didn't make it any easier on me. I cried more than I have ever cried about anything or anyone last week. I hardly ever cry about anything at all, but this made me cry uncontrolably at times. That part finally seems to be over now, but I'm still very depressed about this. She was the only person who ever really seemed to care about me, and now I'll never be able to talk to her again. This just really sucks. I am also really mad at myself for not spending more time with her before she died. I kept meaning to go by and visit her, but I figured I still had a lot of time to do that kind of stuff. Well, I ran out of time last week. And now I can see how selfish I was to not spend more of my free time with her while she was still alive. I would give anything to just go back a few years and change some of the things I have done or not done in this case. The worst part is that she died alone. No one was there to hold her hand or comfort her or let her know that they cared about her as she was dying. I turned out to be a really worthless son and I regret it all.