my mom has schizophrenia

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by morning rush, May 28, 2011.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    It's hard to have a mother with a mental illness like schizophrenia (which means she thinks she's someone else, like god, someone from the future etc) she hears voices and hallucinates...and she's paranoid...

    right now I try to visit her whenever I can...last time it took me 2 hours to get there, I stayed less than 1 hour and she told me to leave...I was mad because I went all this way to go see her, I thought she would be happy but she was, to get the soda pop I bought her...

    she called a few times, crying about her past, then she told me she wanted to switch hospitals and psychiatrist because there was something going on between him, her and God...she refused to take her meds, She wanted me to go see a lawyer and I said no. I told her to take her meds and she would be better but she gets angry and says "ever since your therapist told you, you were insightful, you think you know more than me" (she has no idea what insightful means, because well we're french and mom doesn't know too much english)

    then she keeps warning me about my father (whom I haven't had any contact for almost a year) she says he's dangerous and he never loved me etc...

    today she wanted me to go see her...but I'm down today and told her I'll go see her tomorrow, well she got real angry "After all I did for you, I have no cigarettes" I told her I have no money to buy her any either, I have like 5$ to last until wenesday....then she goes and says "Well good luck with your dad and your Bonnie (bonnie was my ex therapist that I haven't seen in months) and she hangs up...

    what the fuck? I'm going through a depression myself and now I got to do whatever she tells me to....I"m doing the best I can and apparently it isn't enough for madam...I'm just really upset and down about it...
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Try to step back on this for a bit.
    Schizophrenia is a terrible disease, and much of what she is saying to you is from her delusions and fear.
    Visit, by all means, but try to distance yourself from her complaints and unkind remarks.
    Hopefully the medication will level her back out and some semblance of sanity will return.
    Meanwhile be kind to her and yourself, forgive your anger and remember its the illness talking. :hug:
     
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I have schizoaffective disorder. So, I know what she goes through. I used to think I was a prophet, Christ, and then God. I even had my exwife worship me at times. It's the illness that's doing the talking when we don't take our meds. Our minds automatically warp everything when we are not on medication.

    Not wanting to take medication is the clincher. There are times that I still don't want to take it, and it's been 5 years, since my official diagnosis. There are times I want the insanity to come back, because I miss it. I still hear voices, but they don't have as much control over me as they once did. I am on 3 antipsychotics to keep it that way.

    Don't take what your mom says to heart. She is a good woman as long as she takes her meds, no matter how the voices and delusions try to convince her otherwise.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2011
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun it is not you she is angry at it is herself and NO you should not have to take care of her that is the professionals job in the hospital to do that.
    YOu are the most important person right now to take care of okay.
    YOur mom has an illness that with medication can be controlled I would wait a veiw days before going to see her again you get some rest okay.
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sorry to read things are so difficult between you
    not sure what to say, just wanted to send a hug
    :hug:
     
  6. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    hi :) mental illness robs us of many things. Unfortunately as well as touching our own lives it sometimes affects those we love and care for and those who are supposed to protect us. Its particularly hard when you become the parent as you have to be with your mother. It must be incredibly frustraiting for you and im very sorry for that. Be kinder to yourself. Make some time to get yourself well. If you are well it will be only a little easier but sometimes that makes all the difference. I send u big hugs and love xx
     
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I find it very hard because I care about her, but at the moment it seems like she doesn't care about anyone else but herself...she gets nasty if she doesn't get her smokes, but her brother brought her some so now she was happy but didn't really care that I was there, she kept chatting with the other patients, and her imaginary people...telling me to come back next week if I want to...no when are you coming back or you're leaving already?

    my mom said "Oh I'm so selfish" and she smiled...I said nothing so she looked at me and said, "You think I'm selfish?" I said no, but I thought YES!

    she was trying to guilt trip me into going there and when she got her smokes she didn't bother to call me and let me know...I was going to spend my last 10$ on a pack of smokes for her and a soda pop...

    I know that some of it is her illness, but I think some of it is her true self coming out in the open...kind of like when you're drunk...the real you, your real thoughts come out because the be reasonable barrier is open...

    she doesn't want me to hang out with my friend...that was like that before she got her crisis but now its worse...she wants me to be alone for the rest of my life with her...I don't...I love her but I'm going to stay away from now on...I'm sad, angry and so many other feelings...I don't know where to take this...and I have no one to talk to about it...no professionals, no one...
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOur mother sounds like a narcissist controlling self absurbed manipulating She cannot do that to you now okay You are wise to step away set up boundaries and let her know you are not going to be controlled again.
    It is time for you to look after you and live your life as you want to live it .
    Tell your mom if she cannot be civil to you without her sarcasim then you will not be visiting her at all.
    I for one think a bit of time away from her will make her think twice before speaking nasty to you
    You can pm me anytime okay hun but just know taking a break away for YOU time is so important
    she cannot have control over you anymore now then you let her hugs