My mom is scaring me

[0110110ry]

I will tell you know, she always says that she hopse she will die, and this is something I can't bare, no matter how cruel and mean she can be, and I don't know how to approach on how I feel.

A few days ago it was my birthday, on the 26th if you have to know, and everyone in my family said happy birthday to me, except my mother. For liek past three months, since summer started, she has been unbeleivably irritable, freaking out over the smallest things. Allow me to give you an example, I will be watching television at 11:00, on a volume so low that I can barley hear the thing in the same room, like two feet in front of it, and my mom will walk in the room screaming "TURN OFF THE T.V. I CAN HEAR THAT THING IN MY ROOM!" Which is retarded because her room is on the other side of the f-wording house! Or just a few minutes ago, I was palying on my Xbox360, which I got for my birthday, from my dad, and she starts rambling on about some retarded thing like "You should watch the movie the secret because you have been acting out latley!" And then she will ramble on about how I am a chronic gamer, and that I am addicted to games, I spend two days on a game MAX. And then she just throws out there "YOus houdl turn that thing off and go to bed." I said "In a little while, i ama bout to beat the game." Evidently I lit her fuse and she wnt off, and came up, ripped the cords off the T.V., unplugged everything, and screamed at the top of her lungs "GO TO BED NOW, DON'T DISOBEY ME."
I swear, she has absolutley no sense at all, my dad has always been alot kinder than she ever has, whenever I ask to stay the night at a friends, she is always the one to say no, I am lucky to sppend on night at a friends house a year, no exageration. She has always been the rude parent, always treating me, and everyone else like crap, always giving us hope and crushing it. And this morning I looked up the word hate in the dictionary. "Hate- to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry."
Well, I think my mom hates me, she never lets me do anything, every day I put up with stuff like that, her entire life is a constatnt cycle of mood swings, one seconds she is happy as can be, the next second she flips out and starts yelling at me, and then she will be happy again, and let my sister go stay the weekend at her fiends house, and lets me mow the lawn. I can't stand it, she even does stupid shit like this to my dad, she alwatys bosses him around, never says "I love you" him, or anyone at that.
And this is where it gets interesting, she hasn't left our house in three years come this October. She is completley hous bound, spending all day ona nd off eBay, buying stupid crap that no one ususes using my dads paycheck, she buys retarded ugly clothing off eBay for me to wear at school, she forces me tow ear retarded clothing that I don't want to, like retarded brighly colored pull-overs, or button up shirts, which I hate. I am the person who goes to school in red and black high top chucks, black slackes, and a short sleave black button-up, opened with a red undershirt underneath that. Let's jsut say I am a very sad person that is happy.
And the final part to my topic is, my mom has been taking the max amound of allergy and cold medicine she can take withoutt dying, and she has been doing this as long as I can remeber. I am 15 years old, and I can't take it.

I don't know how to confront her, I describe how I feel, there is now ay, I don't know how to tell her how much stress and worry she has put me through, she even refuses to go to the doctor, and I can't take it, she always complains about how sick she feels.

I have to admit, she isn't a very good mom, and she doesn't really seemt o like me that much, but she is my mom and I care for her, and this hard for me to admit but, I don't think I love her anymore, that is how much she has changed, I feel like she isn't my mom anymore.

All I want to know is how I can confront and tell her how much she is putting me through, and I am afraid of what she will do after I tell her.

Please help me.

(Sorry for the poor paragraph placement, and run-ons, I am in no mood to corect myself

 

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I'm wondering if she has bi-polar or something like that because she sounds like my ex and it is so, so hard to live with. Or maybe that phobia about leaving the house - it sounds like she has real mental issues ubut it's hard if she won't get treated and it can be hard. Any chance of talking to your dad about it and getting her some help? or doing family counselling??? With a counseller to mediate?

If if that doesn't work - hang in there - you can move out in 3 years- I know it sounds like a long time. My parents had no tv, no video games/computer games, in bed every night by 8pm all the way through grade 12 and I remember having to wear the most horrid stuff way back in high school that my mom bought and I hated it. What I ended up going was getting summer jobs and part time jobs and earning my own money and buying my own clothes - is that an option for you?

In my situation - I left after high school and would't ever live there again. Love my parents but even staying there as an adult - they are way OCD and controlling on every little thing. I'm 32 btw - and last year I was sneaking diet pepsi into the house (no soda rule) when I was visiting and letting my kids watch dvd's on my laptop quietly because Grandmommy wouldn't let them watch TV - so I can relate - I kinda grew up like that and it's really hard. (course then I married someone like that...in a lot of ways worse....should have got counselling earlier in my life..).

 

[0110110ry]

Thanks,
I am sixteen, and I am going into 10th grade, and I do talk to my dada bout it, but he won't do anything, I think he is just trying to keep a marriage that ended a long time ago alive. I don't know why really, but I am too young and inexpereienced to even guess it.

And my parents are nearly as strict as your's were! My mom always says that I have to go to bed at 9:30 which is rediculous, no way I can sleep that early, so I sometimes stay up until midnight, sometiems later, and I just play games on my computer.

I play World of Warcraft alot, familiar with it? But I do it to escape all of the things cascading around me, becaise I can't stand it. I don't think I can solve my issuses discreetly within my family and that I might have tot alk to a counciler sometime soon. But I have alot of friends that understand what I am going through. I have a friend who has went through alot more then I have, his mom is the nicest person I've ever met, litterally, and she she went through i think three divorces, and his brother killed himself because he had an emotional breakdown right before he graduated when he was piped up on drugs, and then the school used his death as an excuse for a crap load of anti depression lectures, which sickened me.

And about my life? My social life at school is awesome, I have great friends, teachers love me! And there isn't really anyone that dislikes me, except a stupid senior that always calls me goth.. :blink: But I guess he is entitled to his own opinion, and he hasn't tried to physically bully me because he knows I can "take him on," he is a senior and is like 5'8". I started a little early and I finished all of my growing already, I am 6 foot :laugh: So yeah.. life is great at school, I was acually sad when summer break came because a bookworm like me can't stand staying away from school for a week, let alone three months.:dry:

And one final questions-

Is it bad to sort of hide all trace of emotion? Because I kind of keep everything inside of me. How do I explain, I am the kind of person that can keep a straight face in any situation, and just settle it inside of my head, without releasing any of it physically... Is that bad? Cause people say I shouldn't do that, and it isn't healthy because one day I will explode. :huh: