both dead and alive until somebody opens the box
Not on purpose, thankfully. A friend of hers had a child who died. She said 'I am so fortunate that I've never experienced that. I never want to. I hope neither of you [she was talking to my sister too] ever die until I myself am dead." But I feel like killing myself would just make things better. I have to get away from stress. Depression. Epilepsy. OCD. Bipolar disorder. 15 pills every morning just to keep me from having a seizure. I just want to be away from it all. I want to be done with it.