My mom taken away

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Mandy1, Feb 20, 2010.

  1. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    My mom was killed in a road traffic accident 3 days ago.
    Im totally devastated,dont no what to do,dont no what to think or feel,my mind is all over the place.
    I have little support from the members of my family and right now im all alone.
    Im scared im going to hurt myself.
     
  2. kay_xx

    kay_xx Member

    i'm so sorry. :sad: i lost my grandpa to lung cancer back in july, and i'm still upset about it. you just have to realize that you aren't all alone, and that your family is probably feeling the same way. that's exactly how i felt when my grandpa passed. eventually, we all talked about how we felt, and we took comfort in one another. that's what you should do. it helped me. :smile: don't try to hurt yourself because it's definitely not gonna make it any better.
     
  3. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    hey amanda i know how hard it is to lose your mom. i just lost my mother last summer. i'm terribly sorry about your loss. just keep taking lots of deep breaths and try to hang around any support you've got, and this includes here. please don't harm yourself. please take care
     
  4. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Thankyou for replies.Im just so sad and hurt inside,i cant really explain how im feeling its just a mix of emotions,i want to scream i want my mom back,im waiting for the phone to ring or her to walk down the path and i know thats not going to happen,im trying to keep in control and keep telling myself this isnt real,yet i know shes gone,and so cruelly thats what hurts,being hit by a car,theres so many questions i want answered but until the inquest is over it going to be months,im sorry if im rambling,but theres no one here to talk to and i trust sf more than the people that i call my family.I know myself quiet well and what im capable im just scared im going to do something.
     
  5. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    :( just read this .
    I am sorry for your lost, I really can't imagine the hurt, thinking of loosing my own scares me terribly.
    I hope you can get some support dear, seen you can't get from family members I do hope that you have other support resources, like a gp, counselor...someone.
    I am here for you.
    :hug: :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2010
  6. kamrinjacobs

    kamrinjacobs New Member

    @amanda I am very sorry for your lose your mom, it's heartbreaking to lose a loved one (especially so young) and it hurts like hell. I imagine that a large part of your anger, is perhaps because you did not get the chance to say goodbye to him.Please try to accept his death for what it was - a tragic accident. Looking for someone to blame will not help ease your pain, it will just prolong your anger. Even if you located the driver of the vehicle, there is no legal action you can take against them.
     
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry for your loss...know we are here for you...PM me if I can help in any way...big hugs, J
     
  8. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Thank you for your replies.
     
  9. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    I have to cope with this.
    I feel pathetic for posting again,but the more i write is helping a bit.
    what is making this so difficult is the timing.

    Dont really know why im telling you all this,but.......

    MOm was killed on 17 feb
    On the 20th of feb,three days later it was my brothers birthday,he would have been 49yrs old,he passed away in 1986.
    The next day was my uncles birthday,hes my moms brother he passed away in 2004.
    Dad died october 2007,thats 2years and 4months.
    Its just all too much.
     
  10. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    :arms: you are right, ist's indeed too much to deal with, and I am glad at least writing here helps you some. Keep doing it, and I really, really hope you manage to cope in some way.
    Take good care,
    :hug:
     
  11. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Mandy.

    I just saw this thread. I am sorry to hear about your losses over the years. So much for you to think about all at once, and how deeply it must hurt for you right now. Please remember that people here at SF care about you - you don't need to carry all that alone. PM me any time if you wish.

    I'm thinking of you and sending warm hugs,

    A.
     
  12. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Ive arranged my moms funeral,dealt with certain officialdom,like coroners office,solicitors and life insurance companys,DWP,private works pensions,cancelled bank accouts,arranged copies of the interim death certificate,Had to cope with police,signing legal forms,even been asked ,which i did,to talk to the press,and ive kicked and screamed inside all the way,and theres still so many things to do.

    I dont want this anymore.......
     
  13. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Dont no why im posting this to be honest.i guess im thinking theres some kind hearted people out there,even if they dont reply,i know my posts arent ignored.The 8th of march is the funeral.Just got to get that over with.

    But i am struggling desperatley,and could do with some support right now.......
     
  14. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    I couldnt put a personal msg in the local newspaper.(death announcments)
    Too many people would have read it it was too impersonal.

    I should have
     
  15. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Did your mum have an address book or anything like that, that you could go through and ring a rew people?
     
  16. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    my bro and sis are my moms but not my dads.
    Im the youngest
    Ok not that young im 42,sorry i got a weird sense of humour.

    my paternal family has been denied me as i was growing up.
    I have 5 siblings i have never met,out of respect for my mom.

    i need my family now but there not here,its complicated.
    thankyou for taking a interest.
     
  17. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Mandy just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking of you today on what must a very difficult day for you here if you need me.:console::hug:
     
  18. jamie20m

    jamie20m Well-Known Member

    Im sorry for your loss also. Keep expressing your feelings and try stay strong.
     
  19. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Thank you for your kind words.xxx.
     
  20. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hi Mandy....just seen this thread...I"m so sorry for the loss of your dear Mum...
    wondered if you are you having grief counceling?..after such a tragedy it may help you ...too hard to do it alone...
    I can see you need answers to your questions and that is normal on the road that is grief....
    so also is depression a part of grief and I hope if you are feeling depressed and suicidal you will talk to a doctor, councelor, friend or talk to us on here about it..
    reading lots of books on grief and grieving helped me and maybe can help you too..
    please take care of yourself ......